Branded

The Pomegranate: Hungering for the Unattainable

2011-11-11T01:21:00.000-05:00

Eavan Boland’s poetry is known for its thoughtful consideration of history that was significant to her home country: Ireland. Her poem The Pomegranate does not stray from this. Through close examination of Boland’s careful uses of vocabulary, imagery, and mythology, you find that the poem paints a clear picture of the Potato Famine.

At first glance, the vocabulary would appear to only be significant for the imagery; however, it is worth digging deeper.

The word “star” appears twice within the poem. Once we read: “…the starts blighted” (Boland 215), and another time we read: “The veiled stars…” (Boland 216). It is not unusual for stars to be given as imagery, because they can often represent hope; however, notice that the stars are, both times, mentioned with negativity.

The word “blighted” descended from the Old English word meaning “cursed.” The word “veiled” is associated with hiding something – almost out of protection or perhaps abstinence, as it is in the case of a new bride or a nun. Why does this matter? The stars could be representative of food. The “blighted” stars would be representative of the potatoes which had died out, leaving the Irish to starve, because the other food that might have helped them survive was “veiled” – or withheld – from them.

The imagery supports this, as well. The most interesting imagery is that of plant life. The pomegranate itself would be suggestive of food that is out of reach – especially since it is not available in Ireland – and even if it had, it wasn’t a potato. There are also plants mentioned that would represent food that is not available: “I carried her back past whitebeams… and honey-scented buddleias” (Boland 215). Buddleias are plants that commonly grow in areas where there was once thriving community or business that had died out. They are known to be especially viewed in places like old factories and bomb sites. This picture of something beautiful growing where everything else has died out will, no doubt, bring to mind the devastation of the potato fields which had died out and the food that would linger around as if to taunt the starving Irishmen. The other plant mentioned seems to really rub the idea of unavailable food in your face, because the whitebeam is a member of the Rosaceae family, which commonly produces plants with fruit such as apples and strawberries. The whitebeam is one of the few which only is grown for show – another taunt to empty bellies.

It is the mythology, however, that gives the strongest case for the imagery paralleling the potato famine. The family of Ceres clearly paints a picture of both abundance and death. Ceres was the goddess of agriculture, her parents the god and goddess of abundance and fruitfulness. Her siblings were coupled with riches.

She is also guessed to be the mother Baccaeus. Though that is argued among some mythologists, it is still important to consider him. Baccaeus was associated with both abundance and disorder. It is his description that most strikes the reader, because he is said to carry a staff which drips with honey. This depiction reminds us of the description of the buddleia plant that smells like honey.

Persephone, Ceres’ daughter, was the goddess of springtime, which is when the earth prepares itself for producing food. Focusing only on the child that is portrayed in the poem, we still see spring – abundance – captured by Hades – death. Persephone is lusted after and yet only attainable to Hades through trickery. Even that trickery results in unhappiness, because then there is only a time of abundance for a season. After that, the earth longs for Spring but cannot find her.

It is important to note that Ceres – as well as Baccaeus, Persephone, and many of Ceres’ siblings – were also indicators of death. Ceres basically condemns her daughter to life with death (Hades) by not following the instructions she was given. Baccaeus, being the god of wine, would also be associated with drunkenness – something that often got the gods and goddesses into trouble. Her siblings include Hades, who is the ultimate representation of death in mythology.

Having studied the evidences shown in the vocabulary, imagery, and mythology, it isn’t hard to see the influences of the Potato Famine. Everything indicates some form of wealth that has been held back, and what was once there has been removed or hidden. The mythology strongly indicates a focus on agriculture – because of the family of Ceres as a whole. The paper could, of course, be interpreted to mean something wholly different, but one of the beautiful things about poetry is that is can be something different to everyone.

I Hate Pop Music

2011-11-05T22:27:00.001-04:00

In a recent conversation with my father (recent meaning in the past five months), we were discussing classic “hippy” music and other music from the 70’s which my father so enjoyed. I’ve been exposed to and love quite a bit of it, and I was sharing with him some of my irritation with how little regard it is given – especially since it is such a staple in the United States’ history. My father pointed out, with some disgust, that at least the music of that age – despite the trashing it often receives these days – meant something. People were trying to spread messages to other people about what was important to them politically, spiritually, and socially. As he said this, I did not challenge him, but I did wonder: do the singers who are popular today still express “the issues” as they did in the 70’s? Has that desire to influence been lost?

First, it is important to note exactly what is important to people during this age. To name several issues off the top of my head: sexual liberties (a freedom to express your sexuality without fear of discrimination – I am not only referring to gay rights but also to the feminist movement and similar movements), animal and nature protection/rights, self esteem (the need to feel beautiful, important, and completely in charge or your life), carpe diem (the freedom to live how you want to, even if that means being an alcoholic or living on a constant high), the need to be number one in someone’s life (to be in love – even if with someone who isn’t right for you or doesn’t want to be with you), and being rich (the ultimate goal is to be powerful with as little effort as possible). These are, in my estimation, those issues which are most important to this generation, whether they be right or not

I took my thoughts even further. Music for my father’s generation was meant to represent that generation, and what they represented was clear in their music. Even if my generation isn’t singing about the issues which are important to them, what messages are they sending about what is important? What will people be studying in fourty years and saying: “What the heck were they on?”

To answer my own questions, I pulled two albums: one of a feminist and one of an openly homosexual male who are considered two of the top artists in America. They are performers, they are singers, they are 21st century American icons: Christina Aguilera and Adam Lambert. I decided to pay close attention to the messages these two artists are sending to other countries, this generation, and the next generation. The albums I pulled were “For Your Entertainment,” and “Bionic.” If you read further, please take note that I will be referencing lyrics which may be offensive – containing language and sexually explicit phrases. It is my intention to prove to you that this generation of pop singers is attempting to indoctrinate certain beliefs into this generation and the next through their music. They use crude, blunt methods to get their points across, and it is my hope that you will see the dangerous power to which we expose ourselves and others.

Now, I have spent a lot of time listening to both of these albums. I am intimate with each of them partially because I have a sister who enjoys listening to this sort of music. I do not wish to insult her or anyone else by saying that listening to this music rots your brain, but I will say that I hope you come to understand how influential the music you listen to can be.

First, I will pick one song from each album which I believe addresses one or more of the issues I mentioned and discuss each in some detail.

From Adam Lambert’s album: “For Your Entertainment.” This song cannot be played on the radio because of the sexually vulgar lyrics. Some songs, you can just bleep out a few words, and it’s okay, but not with this song. This song describes, in great detail, the sexual encounter of two people. We are not told the sexual orientation of this “couple,” but that is the only vague thing about the lyrics. There are three things especially disturbing about this song: There is an intimation that the performer has seduced or trapped the other person into the sexual encounter. Things are said like: “There’s no way you’ll ring the alarm,” “no escaping when I start,” and “I’ma hurt ya real good, Baby.” Although it is never directly said, it is implied that this experience is not completely consensual. Second, there is a hunger – a need – for complete power and dominance: “It’s all right, you’ll be fine, Baby, I’m in control. Take the pain, take the pleasure; I’m the master of both.” Thirdly, and probably most disturbing, this seduction and hunger for power are combined and portrayed as a gift to the victim: “Ya thought an angel swept ya off your feet. Well I’m about to turn up the heat; I’m here for your entertainment.” What is a person to say? Hey, I’m being molested, but I’m sure entertained!

From Christina Aguilera’s album: “Vanity.” Here’s another one you won’t hear on the radio. It is full of crude sexual references and language. The basis of the song is that the singer is so amazing, she can live life within herself, regardless of what people think of her. Again, I have three things I want to point out which are particularly troublesome in this song: Right away, you are brusquely told that the singer is clearly the star of… everything. The singer makes some startling claims such as: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the flyest bitch of them all? Never mind, I am… ain’t nobody got shit on me; I’m the best for sure.” Secondly, there is a complete disregard of anyone who might think little of the singer: “Hit up Prince Charming, telling him give me a call. Never mind, screw him… I make myself so much wetter… Can’t love no one else ‘til you love yourself, and if they don’t like it, tell ‘em get in line and kiss your ass… It’s me. Bow down; get on your knees.” Obviously, this person needs power, and she isn't shy about her self conceit: "And now I take myself to be my lawfully wedded bitch." Lastly, the performer claims that powers are her birth-given rights, and she can do with them as she wishes. Having this power means she will live forever in the memories of later generations: “V is for vanity. Every time I look at me I turn myself on… thank you, Mom and Daddy… and the legacy lives on, going strong. Let us not forget.” The song ends with the singer asking: “Who owns the throne?” You hear the voice of her baby son saying: “You do, Mommy.” In an interview, Aguilera was asked how she felt about her son hearing her singing such music. Her answer was that she wanted her son to be aware and appreciate the powers and rights of strong women. Hm…

If you flip through the other music of these two artists, you will find more themes that draw attention to what is important to this generation: “Everybody’s looking for some love, but they don’t know how to let it all hang out, and that’s why they’re solo” (Lambert: Strut). “Step in the light for your perfect close-up. Be superficial; it’s your one shot… it’s all an attitude” (Aguilera: Glam). “I know every apple here ain’t bad, but I found a worm in every single one I had. Boys, they’re only good for fruit – I mean bananas… oh, boys, you should pack ‘em up and ship ‘em out… I hate ‘em” (Aguilera: I Hate Boys).

When people study our music, years from now, what will they see? Will they know about the politics of the time or will they see the true desires of a generation? I’ve come to agree with my father: music used to give important messages in an attempt to better the human race. This generation, however, is all about self satisfaction. I gave you two horrible examples, but they are in no way the worst, nor are they uncommon. If you think you can handle it, try listening to the entire Aguilera album and feeling uplifted or hopeful. Perhaps try turning on the radio and finding popular music which isn’t focused on being on top.

I tried.

Living On the Edge - The Importance of Modesty

2011-11-05T22:26:00.000-04:00

I went shopping, recently, for some new clothes and had far too difficult a time finding clothes I was willing to wear. As I sorted through shirts, I knew that most other girls would be very unlikely to have a problem with things I was passing over without a second thought. Modesty is so important to me for so many reasons, I almost go to extremes. Here are some reasons why I believe modesty is so important:

1) I have been taught and firmly believe that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. If you are a Christian, so is yours! How can I justify wearing something “skimpy” if I am supposed to be a representation of my most holy Lord? Taking this into consideration would also mean that while you dress modestly, you also dress as well as you can (this doesn’t necessarily mean dressing up, but it does mean looking clean and nice). I am almost never in jeans, for example, not because I believe it is wrong to wear them but because I don’t like wearing them and I also do not believe that they properly represent me as a woman to the world. Many women feel differently and that’s fine. I could write a whole other note on why I think women should wear skirts, but that’s not the issue at hand.

2) Dressing immodestly causes far too many sexual tensions and frictions between the sexes. It’s not just women tempting the men; men can also dress in ways that tempt women and make them think in unrighteous ways. Such clothes which draw attention to the body are, I believe, okay in some circumstances… like in the privacy of your home or alone with your spouse. I wear things in my room that I would never wear in public. Sometimes, women just like to wear cute little nightgowns and things, but those are not meant to be ordinary and never meant to be public.

3) I indicated, in my second point, that some clothes may be worn more freely when with a spouse. Part of the reason I dress modestly is because I want all my efforts to bless my future husband – both now and in the future. Right now, I hope to honour him by not tempting him. When we are married, I may give him my body freely and he will be able to enjoy it without feeling guilty. This is a mutual gift, and it is also not one to be underestimated. I encourage unmarried women to save every bit of themselves for their husbands that they possibly can. This effort will not go unnoticed.

So how can men and women dress modestly? I can give you ample examples for both because I am a woman! I know what it is to be tempting, and I know what it is to be tempted. Nothing I am writing is meant to make you feel guilty but to bring attention to how you look to others. I may use strong language and I’m not unlikely to offend, but it is important that I be blunt so as to properly say what needs to be said.

Men: To be honest, men have a lot less to worry about than women. This is for a couple reasons. One is that most women have lower sex drives and while they may be attracted to a man, they are less likely to be prone to having impure thoughts. There are, however, women with sex drives equal to men (I know a few), and these women need to keep their minds pure just as much as any man. Also, men tend to cover more of their bodies, in general, than women; they normally wear t-shirt and jeans/shorts. There isn’t as much opportunity for them to reveal too much. It is possible, though, to cover up a lot and still be immodest. Here are some things for men to think about:

1) Be careful about how tight your clothes are. I can’t emphasize enough that tight clothes are not the things to wear when you’re trying to be modest. This includes both pants and shirts. Close fitting/form cut clothes can be equally flattering, if that’s what you’re looking for, without having the same sexual appeal. (What guy doesn’t look good in a dress shirt? I mean, come on!)

2) Actually wear shirts, and don’t wear them open. Needless to say, the torso is considered, in both the sexes, one of the most eye-drawing parts of the body. Wearing no shirt or wearing your shirt open is not helpful when women are trying to keep a pure mind. Sometimes, I realize, it may be impractical, but do pay attention to this sort of thing.

3) Do your best to cover your midriff and keep it covered. How can you be sure to cover it? When you put on your clothes, stand in front of a mirror and lift your arms above your head. If you see your belly, you either need to wear a belt or a longer shirt. Then bend over at the waist and touch the floor (or not, depending on your hamstrings). If your skin shows when you do this, your clothes need to be adjusted.

Woman: Dressing modestly will be a little harder, in your case. Because men generally have stronger sex drives, they are also more likely to have problems keeping their thoughts pure. You may think that there’s no point in trying to be modest, because men will think what they want no matter what you wear. That is a lie. Men do not always want to think that way and I know for a fact that dressing modestly is something that men appreciate. It is very important for you to not use your power in a way that may hurt someone else. When you dress immodestly, not only do you give the impression that you want men to lust after you, you are causing others to sin and thus sinning yourself. I will have more pointers for you because you have more to cover up and more power over men than you probably realize. Here is what I suggest:

1) The best and simplest way to decide whether something is long enough or appropriate is to consider the three Bs: Boobs, butt, and belly. Stand in front of a mirror. Boobs: If you bend forward and can see your cleavage (I mean any cleavage), what you are wearing is inappropriate. When you’re just standing there, you can’t trust what you see. When you are sitting, because of how women tend to hold their arms and because people are standing above them, what may have looked OK will no longer look OK. Butt: If you can sit in a chair, crossing your legs and uncrossing them without showing anything above your knees, what you are wearing is OK (this counts for both skirts and pants). Keep in mind that anything that ends before your knees is more than likely too short. Belly: Lift up your arms and then bend over and touch the floor (or not). If you see any skin, time to change. Another way to look at this: Don’t show anything you wouldn’t want your grandpa to see.

2) Wear shirts with sleeves. I know it’s bizarre, and I’m not one of those people who think it’s sinful to wear sleeveless clothes, but for some reason, showing your arms can cause men to have impure thoughts. I’m not going to give you a measurement; just wear clothes with sleeves as much as possible. I wear sleeveless shirts when I’m working and sometimes, on rare occasions, I go sleeveless; however, it’s so easy – and even stylish – to throw on a jacket, if you want to wear a sleeveless shirt (I do this a lot). Tank tops are in no way appropriate. They will rarely (if ever) pass the three B’s test, and not only are they sleeveless they are only being held up by strings.

3) Wear loose fitting clothes. I am one of those people who enjoys wearing things cut for my figure, and that is a great substitute for tight fitting clothes. Women simply cannot wear tight clothes – especially if they have horizontal stripes and/or eye-drawing patterns over the breasts. Tight clothes draw attention to the curves and contours of your body in a way that is sexual – not in a way which is simply attractive. I’m not saying you have to wear baggy clothes, but you should be able to twist and your shirt twists with you. As for pants – I would avoid wearing them. A woman is showing off her legs when she wears jeans (intentional or not) – even if they are loose. That’s just the way it works. If you want or need to wear them, make sure they are loose, go up to your waist, and don’t have eye-drawing designs or words on the back pockets. You should avoid wearing shorts which end above the knee.

My friends, I want to assure you that you can be extremely attractive without ever dressing immodestly. It is not necessary to draw eyes in that way, and it certainly doesn’t make you any more attractive. I could give a speech about inner beauty, here, but that’s not what you want. Do you need to know you’re attractive? Dress modestly. Let the way you dress speak of how important you think others are. After all, dressing modestly is more about blessing others than making yourself happy. It isn’t always easy to do in a world that tells us we need to dress provocatively. The reason I call this living on the edge is because it is a daring woman who decides that she will save all her physical beauty for her husband. It is a victorious man who decides to dress in ways that will help women stay pure. Men and women who challenge themselves to be modest are, sadly, of a rare breed, because we have been taught that we need to dress in ways which express who we are – and to show who we are, we need to be attractive, which must mean that dressing in ways which draw eyes will prove we are attractive. This is what the world tells us! Let me tell you something: Drawing eyes does not make you attractive. Seriously. Deformities draw eyes just as quickly, and those aren’t considered “attractive.” What does attractive mean to us, anyway? Doesn’t it mean drawing people to us? You can as easily attract someone to you by being a cheerful person as you can by dressing inappropriately. What’s the big difference? In one case, it’s you they are drawn to; in the other case, it’s your body they want. You can be yourself and express who you are while dressing modestly. I’ve been doing it my whole life, and my only complaint is that I’ve slipped, once in awhile, and worn something I shouldn’t have.

Are you dressing modestly? If you want to ask me questions or have specific thoughts about how this might apply to you, feel free to ask. I would also recommend, if you decide to do this, that you have someone you can ask – a Christian of the opposite sex – if what you are wearing is modest. Hopefully that person will know what to look for and be able to be honest with you. I encourage you to take this step – to live on the edge with me. Your body is a special gift which is not meant to be misused, and your efforts will not only bless you, they will bless those around you.

One Minute At A Time

2011-11-05T22:25:00.001-04:00

What do you do when you suffer? This is a question I often ask myself, because I tend to suffer a lot. Mind you, I know many people who suffer WAY more than I do; this is what I tell myself as I say: “I’m fine. I have no right to complain.” There is also the urge to just keep it all to myself, because me suffering means that others might feel a need to help me in some way. This means asking others to sacrifice for me which is something I would never ask for.

Right now, I’m dealing with the type of pain I probably hate the most: back spasms. You may know the feeling. You’re fine one minute and then next, you’re gripping the closest thing to you because it feels like several knives are stabbing into your back and twisting to bring the most acute pain possible. Some people only have lower or upper back problems. I tend to feel pain between my shoulders, below the right side of my ribcage, underneath each shoulder blade, and often between several vertebra in at least three places (I never do things halfway :)). I have waves of spasms, often lasting a minute or two, then my back relaxes for a few minutes, then it all starts again. When I first begin to feel pain, these waves will be several minutes apart. After awhile, they come close together, eventually so that one wave of pain leads into another fairly quickly. As the waves become longer and are closer together, the tension moves into my legs. At this point in the game, I am unable to walk. Talking is next to impossible, because taking a deep breath triggers a shooting pain through my back and legs, and catching a breath isn’t that easy, either. This often lasts three to six hours before the waves begin to taper off, only happening every few minutes, until I am blessed with sleep (unfortunately, I can’t sleep when the pain is going on). Needless to say, the next day, I am completely exhausted. Take pain medication, you say! For some reason, I haven’t found anything that relieves the pain. At the moment, I’m entering the middle stage.

So why tell you this? Just a little: because talking about it helps, and taking the time to type this is a welcome – though not complete – distraction, although when a wave comes, I’m unable to type. Mostly: I want to encourage you. How does that work, exactly? I read a verse in my devotions, this evening, from Psalm 119:50: “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” Despite the fact this pain completely sucks, I have God’s promises to cling to. What are those promises? Well, He’s given me many of them. One I will share with you: that I will not always endure this type of pain. Death might be what relieves me, but I’m inclined to believe that He will deliver me a bit sooner than that. Why is that important? Well, knowing that I am not alone in my suffering, I hope to bless others while I battle through it. As much as I hate it, I have a chance to help others. I pray that people will see that although I deal with things that people my age just don’t deal with, I also have the grace of God and brothers and sisters who help me get through anything. I’m never alone. My pain is a symbol of hope to me, because I realize that, eventually, it will be gone forever, and also I learn just how much God shows me through my pain. I also hope to influence others who suffer and feel as though their pain is too much to bear. I know how much fun it is to be in pain all the time. I do my very best not to let it affect the way I treat others and live my life (admittedly, this is really hard, and I often fail). I want you to know, as someone who loves you, that I’ll be okay :). As much as I hate all this, and as much as I loathe fighting through it when I would much rather flop down (gently) and give up, I have a chance to show people how much of a crutch God isn’t. His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and I desire for others to see that. I can name people who suffer and tell you how much they rely on that strength simply by their attitudes. May my attitude towards pain always lead you to Christ and never away from Him. After all, He knows exactly how I feel, and He hasn’t given up on me yet.

"Prayer" C.S. Lewis

2011-11-05T22:24:00.001-04:00

Master, they say that when I seem
To be in speech with you,
Since you make no replies, it's all a dream
—One talker aping two.

They are half right, but not as they
Imagine; rather, I
Seek in myself the things I meant to say,
And lo! The wells are dry.

Then, seeing me empty, you forsake
The Listener's role, and through
My dead lips breathe and into utterance wake
The thoughts I never knew.

And thus you neither need reply
Nor can; thus, while we seem
Two talking, thou are One forever, and I
No dreamer, but thy dream.

The Chosen Jewels of God

2011-11-05T22:23:00.001-04:00

As I have been reading through the Minor Prophets in my devotions, I found two verses which were particularly striking:

“The Lord their God will save them in that day, as the flock of His people. For they shall be like jewels of a crown, lifted like a banner over His land.” Zechariah 9:16

“'They shall be Mine,’ says the Lord of hosts, ‘On the day that I make them my jewels. And I will spare them as a man spares his own son who serves him.” Malachi 3:17.

Jewels themselves are only mentioned in the Bible nine times – and all in the Old Testament (NKJV). Each time, either the jewels are a sign of royalty/honour or they are adorning a virtuous wife. Mull over that, for awhile. What does that say about God claiming us as His jewels?

As I marked these two verses, I wrote a small note next to both of them about God claiming His people as His treasure. This made me curious about how the word “treasure” is used in the Bible. I was amazed at what I found. In the Old Testament, six times the word is used to refer to God claiming His people as a treasure. All the other times refer to the riches of pharaohs and kings. In the New Testament, every time treasure is mentioned (sixteen times), it is mentioned in reference to the reward that Christians gain in Heaven. All of the sudden, we are claiming the treasure – we who have no inborn righteousness or right of authority. Is this, perhaps, in conjunction with Paul’s letter to the Romans when he refers to us as coheirs with Christ?

So, that means we’re royalty, right? Prompted by the Zechariah verse, I also looked up the word “crown.” In Psalms, it is a symbol of blessing and goodness. In Proverbs, the crown is a sign of honour between two people: husband and wife, a man and Wisdom, a father and his children. The prophets give it a new role – a sign of God’s people. In the New Testament, the crown is mentioned both as a physical and metaphorical object. Metaphorically, to the people, it is a crown of rejoicing, righteousness, glory, and Life (thrice!). As a physical crown, it is mentioned three times – each in reference to Christ’s crown of thorns.

At this point, my heart grew heavy. I cannot explain exactly why, but when the crown of God is His people, and then becomes a crown which only causes pain, what does that say to us? Perhaps nothing… I will have to study, more. The crown of God is either His people or a band of thorns. To imagine the similarities between these to crowns… the pain they brought to their Creator… the promise of something better. Bittersweet.

These are my thoughts. I would love to hear what other people think!

Tidbit A: the crown in conjunction with the colour purple is in the Bible four times – the three mentions of the crown of thorns and when Haman paraded Mordecai. Hm... :).

Tidbit B: Pearls are only mentioned in the New Testament - and always with negative connotations except for the end of Revelations, when describing the gates of Heaven.

How to fill out a teacher evaluation form

2011-11-05T22:21:00.001-04:00

How to fill out a teacher evaluation form:

1) Only use grading terms from Harry Potter, like "Outstanding," "Exceeds Expectations," and "Troll," when describing your reaction to the teaching environment.

2) If you give all positive marks to your teacher, make sure that the short answers have helpful words like "narcissistic," "volatile," and maybe "mongoose."

3) If you give all negative marks to your teacher, make sure to only use monosyllabic words in your short answers.

4) If at all possible, answer in binary. Or maybe Fugue.

5) If your review is good but you can't think of any words to describe your teacher - such as "pulchritudinous" - because you have a pathetic vocabulary, make sure you accidentally fill in your name.

6) If you have a teacher who is abnormally despondent, instead of writing a short answer, copy and paste a portion of a random Hardy poem.

7) Try to include in every short answer something that could be read two different ways. For example: "This teacher needs a cat." Or "In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep. " Let them figure it out.

Daylight and Nightmare

2011-11-05T22:19:00.000-04:00

Blind sight:
I was visiting a friend, but my friend was not home. I opened the door and went in, knowing my friend probably wouldn’t mind. When I walked into the house, I could feel that something was wrong; I knew it because I have an exacting sense of smell, and I could smell blood in the air. I began to search the house. It was when I went into a dark sitting room that I knew there was a problem. I sat on the couch, trying to determine what exactly was amiss, when I felt something poking underneath the cushions. Reaching my hand into the back crease of the cushion, I pulled out a bloody arm. I sighed deeply, irritated, pushing the arm back behind the cushion, thinking I should probably check the attic. Feeling some trepidation for the first time, I grabbed a candle from a table and approached the attic door as I lit the wick. It was one of those doors that is on the ceiling. If you pull the ring attached to the rope of the trap, it swings down, the ladder crashing to the floor. I pulled the ring and knew I was in for a shock. Apprehension filled my gut as I climbed up the ladder. I only climbed enough to stand with my head and upper body in the room. The scent of blood filled my head. I could see black pools on the floor around me, and I lifted up my candle to give me light. Alarm froze me as I looked at the gore that surrounded me. The floor was puddles of blood, and they were fresh. The walls were spattered with blood that looked as though it had been sprayed by a hose or splattered from a water balloon. I wondered, frustration filling me, how I could clean up the mess. I was about to leave the attic when the most obvious question I hadn’t found an answer to struck me: Where was the body? I woke up in a feverish sweat.
One Christmas week, my sister Amy left home without explanation, packing her bags and telling my parents goodbye. My mother was ill and barely responsive to anyone. Never shedding a tear, she worked her fingers to the bone as she tried to cope with Amy’s abrupt and unexplained departure. I stayed close to her side as she struggled, wishing I could lend her my strength. At one point, she looked at me, despair in her eyes, and said: “Don’t ever have children. They will break your heart.” I had been silent long enough. I sent Amy an angry text: “You’d better have a damn good reason for not being home, right now.” She told me that I couldn’t possibly understand what she was going through; I had no right to judge her. I wanted to strangle her for hurting our parents. I wanted her to feel ten times pain she had caused. I had never been so angry in my life. Watching my mother in the kitchen, barely able to remain focused in the sorrow that my sister had caused, stirred a fire in me that could not easily be put out. The selfishness of my sister made me feel almost murderous. I’m surprised I didn’t beat the crap out of her when she came home, the next week. She sat on the couch like nothing had happened. My parents were so relieved, Amy was never punished. She told me that she had left to deal with some emotional trauma. I told her then, and I still believe now, that dealing with your own pain should never involve injuring others.

Problem:
There are few things I hate more than wasting hours of time getting a good night’s sleep when I could spend hours doing things like homework, writing, and reading. To imagine the bliss of never needing to sleep makes me salivate. Thankfully, I have insomnia. When I do sleep, I often have vicious nightmares, and I remember them as vividly as I remember a good movie or book. It wasn’t until this past year that I ever had a dream that wasn’t a nightmare. To make my situation even worse, the tenor of my nightmares often seeps into my waking day. I am often dazed for hours, trying to convince myself that my nighttime visions were not reality; this is especially hard if my nightmares are visitations of harmful memories. As much as I might wish to dismiss them, they are there almost every time I close my eyes. Conditioning: don’t sleep.

Foresight:
It all started off innocently enough. I was with my extended family, on my father’s side, and we were walking through a big house – lots of windows. There were pictures and paintings covering almost every inch of the walls throughout the house. My aunt was give my parents and myself a tour while my nieces, nephews, and cousins were all running around, distracting me, until my father caught my attention and told me that it was time. I knew what he was talking about, but at the same time, my brain didn’t register what was happening. He took me to a small room where I crawled into a long box – a cheap form of a casket. It was then that my brain registered what I was doing. I would be buried alive. My father sat in a chair in the doorway so that I couldn’t escape, even though we both knew I wouldn’t try. In my lap, there was a sheet of plastic that I knew he would pull up over my head, to suffocate me, before he actually buried me. I panicked as I started to imagine what it would be like as I gasped for air and tried to force the top of the box open, which would be nailed down. My father tried to calm me, even though he was almost completely focused on a book he was reading. He was completely unruffled, his posture relaxed, legs crossed, unconcerned. He explained that this was the only way I could truly prove my faith in God - by dying this way. I needed to suffocate – to suffer and be filled with terror – to truly go to Heaven. I kept telling myself that it was the only way, as he had said, but I continued to grow more panicked. He started to stand up, and I knew it was time. I roused myself, gasping for air that I didn’t need.

My brother was coming home from Afghanistan. My dad, my two sisters and I all piled into the van to go pick him up. When we got to the Chicago airport, my dad pulled up to the loading curb, parked, and went inside to see which gate we should go to. He had just gone inside when a tow truck pulled up next to the van. The driver motioned to me that the van should be moved. I was too young to drive, and my sisters were both younger than me, so I shook my head at the driver. He motioned more furiously, frowning at me. I shook my head again. Obviously I was too young; there was nothing I could do. He pulled up in front of us, getting out of the side of his truck to yell at me: “Move the van, now!” “I can’t drive,” I yelled back at him, feeling both irritated and nervous about what he would do. “Get out of the van,” he ordered. I shook my head, frowning back at him. He got into his truck and started backing up towards the van. I could hear my sisters in the back begin to panic, the youngest dissolving into tears. Forced into being the strong one, I whipped around, yelling at her: “Shut up, right now.” I flinched at my own words even as I could hear the tow truck guy yelling at us again to get out. I folded my arms across my chest, leaning back against my seat. If he was going to tow the van, he was towing it with me inside; we were not in an illegal zone. The driver was about to hook up the van to his truck when I saw Dad come running out of the airport, frantically waving his arms and yelling at the driver, who quickly drove away without a word. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Hindsight:
We all have dreams we wish we could forget. My sister gave me a frozen candy bar. Sweet of her, right? I started awake trying to bite through my index finger.

Worksite:
I was sitting at the desk in my room, leaning over homework. I reached down to absently scratch my thigh but felt something odd – like wet sand and soggy pipe tobacco. Looking down, I could see a small mark. It was not bloody. It looked rather like a dime-size cigarette burn, and I rubbed it, trying to determine what it was. When my fingers rubbed against it, something like black dirt fell onto the floor. Curiously, I pressed down on the mark. It was a hole, and it expanded at my pressure. I pushed my index finger into the hole, curling it around the strange grainy substance. I realized that the dark matter really was dirt, and I frantically tried to pull it out of the hole before it could infect me; however, the more dirt I squeezed and pushed out with my fingers, the deeper into my leg I was able to reach. I could feel my heart skip a beat as my burrowing fingers met something other than dirt. I used my index fingers to pull at the skin around the hole, slitting it apart so that it was now the size of the rim of a glass. I pushed my right hand deep into the compost, pulling out a fistful of it along with shards of glass and pieces of moldy bark. I stood with a shout as I released the handful of debris onto my desk. With growing fear, I pulled handful after handful of dirt out of my thigh, dumping it onto a growing heap on my desk. No matter how much I removed from the cavity in my leg, I never seemed to get close to removing it all. My leg was soon empty. I felt no pain; only heavy and poured out. I awoke and screamed.
When I was sixteen, I received the book Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers, from one of my sisters-in-law. The book was written from the perspective of a prostitute who was witnessed to by the love of a Christian man. After living through a childhood of sexual abuse, she had come to believe that she could not truly experience love. She was a cynic, hard, and made cold by the things in her past. I was shocked that my sister-in-law had given me the book, but found that I strongly identified with the prostitute. I had not gone through the extent of sexual abuse she had, but I had experienced the same loss of innocence and acquired the same sarcastic view of life. I remember reading about her transformation – how she escaped that mentality and became able to experience life with a new joy and happiness. I wanted that, but I wasn’t sure how to ask. I can remember taking showers when I didn’t need to simply for the excuse to rub my skin raw, trying to rid myself of the filth that I felt was crawling just beneath my skin. Somehow, I never could do it alone.

Solution:
I write down my nightmares, acknowledging the pain, and then forget. At least, that’s what I say I do. In reality, I live through nightmares again and again. I can almost always find some way to make them seem light if people ask. I am a good enough actress that my family cannot tell if I am struggling with a burden in the mornings. Who really cares if I wake up shocked that my mother is still alive, that a war hasn’t begun, that I haven’t relived the shames of my childhood. Is my insomnia some form of mercy? It has often been suggested that my dreams are a result of my holding so much in; I don’t discuss my problems unless they are forced from me. I find myself, even while willing to accept comfort, hesitant to burden other people with my difficulties. Everyone has problems. Maybe all that negative energy is so pent up, I can’t help but sleep in terror. That is what those who have studied dream interpretation say – that my body has to find some way to express what it’s feeling. Or perhaps these bloody visions are symbolic of attacks I can’t see when I’m awake – a spell to make the unseen seen.

Feminism: Crippling Women of Muslim and Christian Tradition

2011-11-05T22:17:00.000-04:00

In societies that long for equality between all people, feminism has become something that is almost a required belief. If you are “modern,” you must believe that women should be equal to men in all matters. Not only is this true in America and Europe, it has become something important to other countries and peoples. It has also had a profound effect on the people of Muslim and Christian traditions. These two traditions have been around much longer than feminism, and both faiths seem to completely contradict the conventional beliefs of feminism. For example: feminism asks for equality when both Islam and Christianity support a hierarchy – the man is the head while the woman is under him. Is there a middle ground? Not really. While both faiths might, in some way, benefit from feminism, this modern cause has ultimately damaged the lives of Christian and Muslim women. There are three different levels which have been weakened by the Feminist Movement: First, it has undermined the relationship between husband and wife, because the wife cannot be completely respected by her husband; second, it has destabilized the family as a whole, because a woman cannot properly raise her family if she is worried about education and high social standing; lastly, neither religion traditionally accepts feminism – which would mean that the women are condemned to whichever hell their faith teaches.

It is first important to note that feminism has damaged the relationship between the husband and wife of both Christian and Muslim tradition. In both Christianity and Islam, the woman is taught that she is to be submissive to the husband.

Christian women are traditionally under their husbands. They read about this submissiveness in both the Old and New Testaments. “…Your (Eve’s) desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Gen. 3. 16). In Ephesians, it is clear that this is still true: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (5. 22). The argument of feminism is that if women are submissive, they must not have equal rights with men; the Bible teaches that man is above the woman just as God is above man: “Therefore submit to God” (James. 4. 7). What feminists seem to not realize is that Christian women believe it is a privilege and blessing – freeing, even – to be in submission to their husbands. It was a woman, after all, who was given the privilege of carrying God’s Son. Christian women in the Bible are also seen as important and influential people. They are staples of society and highly respected, but they are still of a lesser standing than men. Some argue that equality is really what Christian women should seek. Mollenkott argues that a man being paralleled with Christ while women are paralleled with the church is a prime example of equality: “The whole metaphor is presented to us in the context of mutual submission” (104). She further argues that Jesus’ submission to God is an example to a couple, because He and God were one (105). What Mollenkott seems to skim over is the fact that the relationship between Christ and the church is not the same as the relationship between the Father and the Son (which, as it happens, is never compared to a spousal relationship). Also, mutual submission does not lend itself to equal submission. Christ is not equal to the church. In fact, the same chapter which she uses to defend this idea also rebuts it: “For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church” (Eph. 5. 23). Another problem is that the passage she uses to support her claim is quoted out of context. She uses the verse from Ephesians: “…submitting to one another in the fear of the Lord” (5. 21). She quotes it as though it is actually part of the passage about husbands and wives, but the passage she quotes from is talking about all brothers and sisters in Christ; not husbands and wives. The wife is never looked down upon because her role is different than that of the man; rather, she gains even greater respect for her stance: “…wives submit to husbands, which seems horrible and degrading, until you realize that Jesus submits to His Father. Wives are given an opportunity to be like Christ. Suddenly, it’s not so degrading” (Miller).

The wife’s submission is taken to more of an extreme in Islam: “She (the Muslim wife) should obey the commands of her husband even if it seems to be impossible” (Ibraheem 16). Muslim women should submit to their husbands without question because they are taught that this will bless them in the afterlife: “A woman who… tried to be chaste and obeyed to her husband, she would be given permission to enter Jannah through any of its doors she would like” (Ibraheem 2). Women who are submissive as they are taught are held in high esteem. Muslim men believe that they cannot completely protect their wives if the women are not submissive as they ought to be: “The first and most important quality in a good woman is to be obedient to her husband. She must in no way expose herself to the eyes of unrelated men and ruin her character under their lustful and poisoness gaze” (Mir-Hosseini 64).What if a Muslim woman is in an abusive relationship? Although punishment is common among the Muslim people, a husband being kind to his wife is strongly encouraged: “‘Pamper women with their favourite things’” (Ibraheem 15). It is also known to Muslims that just as men are above women, Allah is above men – the same belief as Christians. Equality is seen as completely insupportable, though the man having respect for the woman and treating her with kindness is important, especially if they are in a difficult marriage (Husni 118).

When looking at both, it is clear that neither Muslim nor Christian women can be feminists in regard to being equal to their husbands. One striking difference between the two religions is that the Christian wife follows God first and then her husband. Muslim women are responsible to their husbands and thus have been following Allah – as though they are one and the same.

Feminism is also undermining and damaging Christian and Muslim families – meaning that the woman specifically cannot perform her duties in a satisfactory way. This is due, undoubtedly, to the fact that the spouses aren’t getting along. If they are not getting along, it is much more difficult to raise a family together. One strong idea of feminism is that the woman should be free to take care of her own career and interests before worrying about taking care of a family – if she should choose to raise a family at all. Education and social standing are the ultimate marks of a “respectable woman.” Islam and Christianity take a similar stance upon this idea but for different reasons. It is also important to note that a woman receiving an education is permissible – even encouraged – for Christian women. Muslim women are traditionally taught to only be educated for the vocation of motherhood.

In Muslim culture, strife in the family causes many problems. The woman moves in with her husband – who still lives with his parents – so they are living in the household of her in-laws. While the husband may, perhaps, be more inclined towards modernist ideas, it is less likely that his parents will be. The woman is admonished to be respectful of her in-laws wishes second to her husband’s, so that leaves little room for freedom: “If a woman obeys her father and mother-in-law from the very beginning of her marital life, they will never think about separation with their daughter-in-law” (Ibraheem 45). If she should continue to fight for such freedoms, she would weaken her ties to both her blood family and her family by marriage. If she becomes exiled and/or disowned and is thus unable to care for her family, she has done them no good. It is also believed that the Muslim woman should not be taught any more than she should know in regards to raising a family and teaching her own daughter/s. She is taught extensively, from a very young age, what her duties will be in raising her family, taking care of her husband, and any other duties. She is not expected to know anything that will not help her do such things unless she is from a wealthy family (Walther 76-77). There are those who believe that Islam society cannot be fully functional if women don’t have some sort of role: “For the institution of social justice in the family and at the national level, all forms of discrimination on the basis of sex… should be eliminated” (Roded 231). Others say that social justice can still be held with adequate communication, even if there isn’t social equality: “The advancement of the nation does not depend on man being forced to grant women social freedom” (Husni 30).

Christian women are also unable to be both feminists and mothers. The Bible teaches that the woman’s main job is to raise a family and support her household: “She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Prov. 31. 27). Taking care of the household may include getting a job, but her first priority is her family. It is also important to note that education is not considered forbidden to Christian women, but it is also not deemed a priority to be placed above having a family. What about the passage in 1st Corinthians that says women should be silent unless given permission by their husbands to speak out and ask questions?: “Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says” (1 Cor. 14. 34). This is often misread because of the English tendency to only have one word as a translation for several nuances that may be read in Greek. The word that we read as “silent” is the word translated from “hesuchia” which actually means to sit in restful quietness: “as in meditation or study” (Bristow 71). Even more importantly, this word is not only applied to women. It is an encouraged “silence” for all Christians: “…lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence” (1 Tim. 2. 2). When a woman does not put her family before everything but her relationship with God, the family suffers and becomes a dishonor to the faith: “…admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Tit. 2. 4-5). The children do not have an example to follow if the mother is not home, and since the father is often gone as well, the children are left to their own devices. In Proverbs (31. 10-31), the duties of a wife are expounded upon, and it is clear that the wife must be able to handle many duties; however, she has much respect and honor simply by being a homemaker. Social standing and a high education are not a necessity, though it is lawful for a woman to seek learning in ways that will make her relationship with God productive: “Let a woman learn in silence with all submission” (1 Tim. 2. 11). A few verses later, we find that it is the raising of her children that is most important: “…she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control” (1 Tim. 2. 15). If so much importance is placed upon raising godly children, it is clear that that should be a priority over her seeking social standing via education.

What about the woman standing alone? Do either of these religions support a single woman being a feminist?

In Muslim culture, the only true job of a woman is that of being a wife and mother. The above points about her getting along with her husband and raising her family well are what place the woman in society. She is not a “good” Muslim if she has not risen up to her duty. There are also heavy punishments for those women who are married and do not act as they should: “The Messenger of Allah is reported to have said that in Hell, he saw more women in comparison of men… they use (sic) to be ungrateful to their husbands” (Ibraheem 17). When it becomes clear that women are to live life by their husbands, it is incomprehensible to imagine a Muslim woman making a difference within herself.

Christians also believe it is the duty of the woman to be a wife and mother: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2. 24). It would seem that even the man should hope to be the head of a godly family. It is not, however, an impossibility that a woman should choose to follow another calling if that would somehow benefit her faith. Having a family is a righteous calling, but if she can follow Christ better without a husband and/or family, she is encouraged to do so: “…It is good for a man to not touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband… it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor. 7. 1-2, 9). This brings to mind one argument: If the woman can be single, then feminism isn’t such a bad idea! The problem is that being a feminist means that the woman is more worried about equal rights, and that is still not Biblical. Even the single woman is under the head of God and called to respect men. It is also unbiblical that women should have positions where they are placed above men: “And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man…” (1 Tim. 2. 12).

Clearly neither religion would accept feminism even if the woman is single. These positions are taken under slightly different grounds. The Muslim woman is basically taught that she needs a man to survive and live righteously. The Christian woman may live righteously while single, and although importance should be first placed in having a family, she is not required to have one.

After compiling this evidence, do we find that feminism hurts or strengthens Muslim and Christian women? By studying the traditions and religious texts of Islam, it becomes clear that the Muslim woman must be subjective to a man under all circumstances. When she is not, she sacrifices the morality of her husband, the strength of her family bonds, and she endangers her own soul. By studying the Bible, we find that Christian women are also taught to be submissive – though first to God and then her husband (if she has one). When she is not, she weakens her marriage, her family ties, and she is not considered to be living a holy life. Women in both religions have tried to break free of what they consider an oppressive hierarchy. They believe that to live in submission somehow means that they will feel less fulfilled. One Muslim woman claims that she cannot truly live under her religion if she submits: “‘I will no longer submit.’ It is impossible to free oneself—to adapt one’s faith, to examine it critically, and to think about the degree to which that faith is itself at the root of oppression” (Hirsi Ali 350). Fernea, however, talks about her interview with a Muslim woman who found it a blessing and comfort to live under the laws set down by her husband (265-270). You find similar stories by Christian women – both those that fight their traditions and those that find it a blessing. Feminism is not receptive to the ideas that women have different gender roles and responsibilities than men; however, many Christian and Muslim women believe that a woman is liberated by submission to her husband. Where secular women may find that feminism is the thing for them, women of faith are protected and honored by their submission in a way feminists never will be.

How I Study Artistic Writing

2011-11-05T22:16:00.000-04:00

I have been commissioned by a very dear friend to write an essay on how I study artistic writing. So – here is my attempt! I should say, right off the bat, that I’m not an expert, I’m not a genius, and I am definitely not the best at what I do; however, I hope that talking through some of the ways I approach reading will help ya’ll. Be forewarned: I apply a lot of hard work to my study practices.

When reading artistic writing for any reason, it’s important to read a lot of it. The more exposure you have to something, the better you will become at enjoying it, identifying unifying themes/ideas, and understanding. It’s also important to understand that things like this were not written to be understood at a glance. Artistic writing is composed with great care and diligence. Good writing should be important enough to read multiple times. Never try to understand artistic writing immediately (This includes poetry, lit., creative fic/nfic, and epics). You may get an idea of what the writing probably means, but it is extremely unlikely that you have grasped everything. How can you start? Here are some steps I take when approaching a new piece of artistic writing:

1.I read the writing. I try to read it at least three times – silently the first time, out loud the second time. If at all possible, I listen to it for the third time (maybe find someone reading it online; ask a friend or family member). Depending upon the complexity of the writing, I may read it several more times. It is important to be able to read the work without haltering over things and to be able to find any passages/stanzas/lines/paragraphs at a moment’s notice. You want to be able to think about it as a whole, and you need to be familiar with it to do so.

2.I pull out my dictionary, thesaurus, etymology dictionary, and encyclopedia. This is where most people say: “Holy crap! Just how much work do you make for yourself?!” I believe in putting as much effort in understanding as the author did to writing (that is completely possible, but I can at least try!). This is especially important in poetry, but it will be important to any artistic work. I have a strong vocabulary, but looking up words builds an idea of the mental place the author wants to take you. I look up all the key words. Are there strong adjectives that point to focal emotions or pictures? Can the objects within the writing be connected in some way? Are the histories of certain words relevant? These are important questions to ask (If you want, I can post an excellent paper (not tooting my own horn – I just know it was a good paper, because I worked really hard) as an example of how I used this technique).

3.I know the history of the writer. A person’s history influences everything they do, and it really shows in his/her writing. Also know what is important to the writer. What is important will often find its way into the majority – if not all – of his/her writing. One key to understanding Lewis, for example, is knowing that he didn’t believe in only writing Christian novels. He wanted to be able to write "secular" works with Christian values, and that shows in everything he writes. Get to really know the author and you will have an advantage. Knowing that he was a professor also influences how you read.

4.I find out the authors signatures. All writers have certain things they habitually do, and if you find out how an author “marks” his/her writing, you know of something that is important to him/her. No one builds a writing habit for no reason.

5.I look for through-threads. This is tied to symbolism and morality. What does the author I am reading constantly come back to? Is there a phrase that is often repeated or rephrased? Is there an image that is brought back several times? When I find the through-thread, that is often what opens up the poem. Artistic writing is a lot easier to understand if you can identify symbols in words and pictures.

That is how I study artistic writing! I know it’s a lot of work, but I find that it is completely worth it and incredibly fulfilling. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Why I Hate College

2011-11-05T22:15:00.000-04:00

I’m now in my third year of college, and faced with the time still to be spent there, I have begun to form a mental list of the things I absolutely detest concerning the way the academics are being taught to my generation.

1: There is a sense of required conformity that cannot be escaped without negative consequence.

I remember taking a class that involved writing papers on topics which would generate debate. They were controversial in subject matter, and they required the student to thoughtfully consider the problem at hand and give a solution. I enjoyed writing the papers but was surprised as, time and time again, I received low grades on my papers. When I approached my teacher, he told me, in plain speech, that he did not agree with my essays. I was not getting full credit because I wrote papers he did not agree with. He even went so far as to ridicule me in front of the class because I would not change to fit his own ideas.

2: Teachers are watering down their speeches so that they appear to disguise the truth and heaviness of what they are saying.

One teacher I had was explaining why the class I was taking was required for all students. She kept saying words like “government,” juxtaposed with “merge,” and I quickly realized what she was truly saying: They want to prepare us for a one world government. Why couldn’t she just say that? I understood why. If she just came out and said that, everyone would know. The school claims that they are only “introducing” us to the great varieties of culture worldwide. What they are really doing is preparing us for a time when we will be forced to be dependent on these cultures. She actually said this, but the way she spoke made it so that you would have no idea what she meant unless you knew how to listen for it. They are taking advantage of the current generations’ inability to think.

3: There is a hunger for spiritual food and nowhere to find it.

I attended a service, at one point, where I expected to at least find a desire to teach Christ. I was devastated to find a hollow service where Christian songs were sung, the Bible read, and Christian verse introduced, and yet there was not a moving of the Spirit. I’m not talking about feeling; I am telling you that I never once believed that anyone taught strengthening a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I felt starved when I should have been fed.

4: Students don’t really care about learning.

I have watched many students take naps through class, all out skip it, or finishing their homework five to ten minutes before. There is an inescapable feeling that they just don’t take time to bother about doing well. I’m not saying I expect them to enjoy the classes, but making an effort is important. After all, they are paying to attend classes, and the teachers are (usually) making an honest effort to teach them. It is completely disrespectful and lazy to not care about class.

5: Students place too much important in feeling accepted.

I have watched students fake a different sexual orientation, pretend to be religious, join certain clubs, etc., and all in the effort to feel accepted. This is, I think, more devastating than perhaps any other action they could take. Even the word “university” implies all kinds of individuals coming into one place, but that does not mean that a person should change who they are in order to fit in.

Ultimately, there is one, serious problem I have with colleges: No importance is placed on living a holy life. If there were, I believe all these problems I have mentioned would disappear. After all, Christians are taught to not conform to the things of this world. Diversity under the unity of Christ is the aim! Christians are also taught to think – or at least they are supposed to be. This is less true than it ever has been because, as C.S. Lewis so clearly wrote: “The Historical Point of View, put briefly, means that when a learned man is presented with a statement in an ancient author, the one question he never asks is whether it is true.” This tendency to never question or test what we are being taught is dangerous and, unfortunately, not realized by many Christians.

If there were an importance put on living holy lives, there would be more venues by which to be spiritually nourished. At present, there just aren’t enough opportunities for this – and partly because religions seem to have a problem with setting aside differences in doctrine to enjoy the company of fellow brothers and sisters. Not only is this crippling the church as a whole, it is starving people in their day to day lives.

Christians are also taught to be hard-working and honest in their work. Living holy lives would result in better students, period.

The last element – trying to please others – would, in due course, disappear. Christians know that ultimately the only person whom they need to please is Jesus Christ.

People are starving for God. The world is losing hope. Oh blessed day when Christ returns and this secular world is transformed into His quintessential Eden.

The Great Romance

2011-11-05T22:08:00.000-04:00

“Since by man came death by Man came also the resurrection of the dead.” 1st Corinthians 15:21

"Then Eustace realized that dragons are snake-like creatures, and snakes can cast off their skins. ‘I can't get it all off.’ ‘You will have to let me help you.’” Voyage of the Dawn Treader, by CS Lewis.

These two things have been going through my head all week and have caused a train of thought which strikes me quite strongly. There is this idea of Christ coming in a way that I had not considered, before.

“Of course; He came because He loves us, right? We are His children, and He wants to win us back, right?”

Well… yes… but that is not how I see it, anymore. It was the phrase by Aslan that changed my perspective:

“You will have to let me help you.”

Woah! Do you realize what that means? That means He came because He wanted to help us! He is God. He could have given us instructions that would not involve Him becoming a man. He could have avoided hunger, pain, death, and everything, quite easily. You might argue that He prophesied His own coming. Of course! And that’s why He came! But what if He had never made such a promise? The Bible does teach us that God is omnipotent. This being so, He could have chosen quite a different story.

“So what?” What did Aslan say? “…let me help you.” Jesus wants to be here with us. He wants to be a reality that we can hear, touch, taste, and see. He wants to be a personal presence. God wants to be the one. I mean, do you have any idea how utterly amazing that is? God wants to be among us. It was also the only way He could do it. Why? God cannot be in the presence of sin. As a man, He was able to do so. He made a real effort to be known to us as completely as possible, we who betray and crucify Him daily. How incredible and wonderful He is. I feel as though I have not completely explained what I’m trying to say, but it is such a beautiful message, I had to try.

Why Women Love Twilight

2011-11-05T22:07:00.000-04:00

After discussing this series with Mr. Burdick, today, I was doing some thinking and came to some conclusions about why the Twilight books are so popular.

First, to a generation of women who are desperate for a man to love and protect them, Edward is the ultimate dude. He is the over protective sort-of-man who will do anything to protect Bella. Can I hear an “Aww!”? Because of the “I am Woman: Fear me,” attitude of many feminists, women have become impossible for men to protect. If men try, women immediately pull the guns and say “I can take care of myself. I don’t need a man.” If people are afraid of you, they tend to back off. As a result of men backing off, women are left to take care of themselves. Edward doesn’t really allow this, and this reminds women what they are missing out on: a man unafraid to take care of his woman.

Second, Edward treats Bella like a lady. In this ‘new age,’ women, in their eagerness to have equal rights with men, have lost their true feminity. They have become so caught up in the need to be respected they have lost the natural respect that men once had for them. Edward, being the old-fashioned character that he is, treats Bella like a lady. Although she herself does not like this, every female reader secretly wishes a guy would treat her like that.

Third, Bella is an everyday character whereas Edward is unusual and mysterious. For some reason, women are drawn to what is mysterious and forbidden (Garden of Eden, anybody?). The great fantasy of it is attractive, even if it has no moral basis or solid plot. In the end, there is a predictable, dry story, made interesting by the fact that it is totally new. Vampires have never looked so available!

Ultimately, this brings us to the realization that the books are popular because women are starting to realize just how much they’ve messed up. All that they love about these books is something that they have lost: Respect for the beauty of what is quintessentially feminine.

Adagio for Strings: A Lesson of Contemplation

2011-11-05T22:04:00.001-04:00

Samuel Barber was born the ninth of March, 1910, surrounded by experimental composers such as Copland, Stravinsky, and Cowell – all composers who had dabbled in the trends of modern composing but also composed music which was more easily responded to by a listening audience. Barber, however, rarely bothered to follow the composing movements of his time. He had been raised with the extensive music training of friends and family, because it was noticed early in his life that he had great musical talents and abilities. His vocal training was the focus, and his experiences as a singer gave him a sensitive ear when composing that greatly influenced his musical style. His music often had long, plaintive melody lines that sounded strongly influenced by vocal music. His music was conservative and simple yet was composed with such intuitiveness, it did not sound apathetic; rather, it sounded contemplative.

Barber’s piece Adagio for Strings is an epitome of his composing style. It seems to express the depth of emotions in a style that ‘speaks.’ The melody lines and harmonies are quite simple, and the form is repetitive and easy to follow. Looking at that alone would make the piece appear rather boring, but it is made rich by overlapping of melodies, suspensions, and subtle builds and fading. Nothing is so unexpected that you are jerked from the meditative reverie the music draws you into; instead, you find yourself carried through stages of lament and pondering. It is clearly influenced by Barber’s vocal experience – so much so that it has been arranged for vocals.

Different performances of the piece take various approaches and showcase assorted musical things. In one vocal recording I listened to, the choir was so in tune, you could hear overtones of the base line.

There was a recording of the piece which was faster than many versions, which some would have an aversion to; however, I found that it moved very much at the speed of thought. Although it probably was, indeed, faster than Barber had intended, it more was introspective than the slower versions. I found it similar to the idea that some would quote Shakespeare slowly and thoughtfully while others prefer to quote him quickly, as though they are speaking as quickly as they consider.

Most of the recordings I listened to averaged just over ten minutes long, but no matter how long the recording is, the piece never loses its elegiac contemplation. In many live recordings, the audience is so enraptured with the piece the end is often followed by five to ten seconds of absolute silence. In one recording, the conductor of the piece was weeping.

I did not find that I preferred one version over the others. It is one of those pieces which immediately captures the listener with its expressiveness and exploration of melancholy articulation. It has a subtle energy that you rarely find in pieces which focus on complicated rhythms, harmonies, and melodies.

For myself, I fell even more in love with the piece than I already was. I often scour my music resources for pieces which are filled with passionate emotion. A Russian at heart, I often find the romantic music of the European composers more emotionally satisfying. That which is complicated often catches my ear, so I am naturally drawn to such music. Tonality isn’t that important to me, so I am just as mesmerized by Penderecki’s ‘Polymorphy’ as the prelude to Wagner’s ‘Lohengrin.’ I have found, however, that simpler music can be just as beautiful when the composer has a strong understanding of how to subtly express emotions. Pärt is an excellent example of this. His minimalist composition ‘Summa for Strings’ was a piece that I found myself thinking about as I listened to Barber’s ‘Adagio for Strings.’ The pieces are similar in the slow, pensive way they were written. Though the ‘Summa’ is a faster piece and with a more concise vocal range, it is melodically rich with a related dynamic style. There are not the same variation elements, but there are the same uses of dissonances and tensions. The biggest difference, I think, is that the ‘Adagio’ is more introspective whereas the ‘Summa’ is more contextual and outwardly focused. One is personal while the other is almost expression for the sake of expression. That does not necessarily make one better than the other, though some would argue that music which is emotionally engaging is always the preeminent choice.

After realizing this, it is no wonder that Barber is one of the most performed composers in Europe. Through his subtle forms of expression and emotion, and his love of the musical voice, he has captured a musical picture of the most passionate heart. It is never the number of pieces that a composer writes that makes him or her one of the best but rather the quality of those singularly outstanding works and their ability to touch people in a way that no other music can. Paul Wittke said of him: “His heart was rarely on display, well concealed under his Roman patrician manner. But his heart was large, his wit hid his sensitivity, his melancholy was his response to the sadness of the world.” Perhaps, though, the simplest way to describe his music is to use the words of French author Victor Hugo: “Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent”

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A link for my favourite recording: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV3SHBFyDZM&feature=related

Impinging Upon Christ

2011-11-05T22:02:00.000-04:00

I have been considering Isaiah 53:7.

When I was reading it, today, I noticed that I have been reading it wrong; more specifically the line where it says: "The Lord hath laid on Him the iniquities of us all." I realized, tonight, that the literal translation of it actually says: "The Lord hath caused to land on Him the iniquities of us all." I had always read the word 'laid' as an almost passive thing - like the Lord was simply handing our iniquities to Christ.

Naturally, my curiosity was piqued, and come to find out the Hebrew word is actually more aggressive - meaning that God impinged them upon Christ: "by accident or violence, or by importunity." Since we know that there are no accidents with God, that leaves us with a 'violent' - even solicitous - encouragement for Christ to intercede. I find that... humbling... and I wish I could hear a sermon about it!

It's Worth It!

2011-11-05T21:55:00.001-04:00

I found this among some other papers while doing some Spring cleaning. I wanted to type it up and share it - to give an idea of why I love my job so much :).

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It's a hard day at work. I take care of a little boy with Down Syndrome, and he is not very happy with me. Every forty-five minutes, I have to drag him to the 'potty' as part of his potty training. Today, he fights me, thinking that surely there are more exciting things to do! After long minutes of encouraging and bribing, he finally sits on the toilet. Relieved, I let him do his business. I'm tired, and I've been sick for several days. This constant fight in the bathroom really wears me out, and I find myself wondering if it is really worth it.

A minute later, I hear the toilet flush, and he comes out to me, showing me that he needs help fastening his pants. As I kneel to do this, I praise him for being such a good boy. "Thank you," I hear myself say, even though I find myself wishing he weren't so difficult.

I then look into his eyes and can't help smiling at the innocence I see there. He smiles back, surprising me by wrapping his arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. It is in this moment I remember why I doing this. The love this little boy shows through smiles and embraces makes me forget how tired and sick I am. I feel cherished and wanted. Yes, sometimes I will get frustrated, but then I'll remember that I love this little boy, and he loves me back. That makes every moment worth it.

Overcoming Presuppositions of Satan in Paradise Lost

2011-11-05T21:50:00.000-04:00

The person of Satan has long been one of great controversy. He might be imagined as the red cartoon with a pitchfork, long red tail, and horns. Others might say there is no Satan. To others, he is the ultimate enemy - a menace who will do anything possible to cause God pain. To John Milton, he seemed to be a curiosity, as is clear in his poem Paradise Lost. One might ask what Milton’s purpose was in writing such a descriptive account of Satan’s story, as he certainly took the time to create this epic tale. There must be a purpose.

Whatever his purpose, this epic tale shows a hero who causes much controversy among the critics. Some critics say that there is a definite push for us to feel pity for Satan as he seems to sink lower and lower into himself. Opposing critics argue that there is no real indication of this.

In the beginning of Paradise Lost, we feel a sense of defiance from Satan, which is expected, considering what he has so recently done:

“The infernal Serpent; he it was whose guile stirred up with envy and revenge, deceived the mother of mankind, what time his pride had cast him out from Heaven” (1.34-37).

Yet this defiance does not seem so complete as it might: “So spake the apostate Angel, though in pain vaunting aloud, but wracked with deep despair” (1.125-126). This seems to indicate that Satan, although certainly not repentant of the celestial fight, is regretful of all that has taken place. It also seems that he does his best to hide these regrets from his hierarchy of followers. This sign of weakness might cause someone to feel as though it is only right to pity Satan:

“Milton’s presentation of him (Satan) is a magnificent poetical achievement which engages the attention and excites the admiration of the reader. On the other hand, it may mean that the real being… is or ought to be an object of admiration and sympathy, conscious or unconscious, on the part of the poet or his readers of both” (Lewis 94).

This idea of sympathizing with God’s enemy is appalling to many. Lewis himself did not believe this to be Milton’s purpose, though he did point out, as in the afore text, that the way Milton evoked this reaction could have been an unconscious thing.

There are other critics believe that there is a clear attempt to discredit Satan in every sense:

“Any one of his ‘glorious’ speeches will suffice to show the false high style of Satan, dissembler and buffoon… A comic element is seen thus in his self deception; Milton is really so unsubtle that Satan becomes a caricature of the pompous braggart” (Shawcross 30+31).

Both sides of the argument are seen, here. Was Milton’s purpose to suggest pity for Satan or is there really no evidence of anything but malice? Surely Milton would have been clear; however, it is possible to look at Paradise Lost not as an absolute of either argument but actually a progression; Satan begins as a newly fallen angel, not fully evil, but he gradually evolves into the Satan whom we so easily recognize as a devil.

There is no real doubt that Satan is an evil being. He shows clear evidence of this throughout the entirety of Paradise Lost: “Seduce them to our party, that their God may prove their foe, and with repenting hand abolish his own works” (2.68-70). His clear purpose is to cause strife between God and His people, perhaps not so much to hurt Man but to hurt God through man. It is power that corrupts Satan, and much like Byron’s character Manfred, Satan defies the power of any authority but his own:

“While other creatures can forget their mission and live casually within the bounds established for them, Satan, God-obsessed, confronts his limits at every turn: every aspect of the crated order that he encounters provokes knowledge of his antagonism” (Toliver 56).

Contrary to his own character, however, Satan expects to be an authoritative figure to those angels who have followed him: “…Nor did they not perceive the evil plight in which they were, or the fierce pains not feel, yet to their General’s voice they soon obeyed Innumerable” (1.335-338).

Even though we never actually read a passage where Satan places himself, verbally, above the others, there is a clear leadership which they all respect. Perhaps it is because of his leadership in the war against Heaven or maybe they just fear him. Either way, there is very clearly Satan above the others: “Satan exalted sat, by merit raised to that bad eminence; and, from despair thus uplifted beyond hope, aspires beyond thus high, insatiate to pursue vain war in Heaven” (2.5-9). This authority never seems to waver.

The way that Satan regards his children is something that we can see change. When he first meets Sin and Death, he appears repulsed: “On the other side, incensed with indignation, Satan stood unterrified” (2. 707-709). His daughter has to explain to him how she, Sin, and their son, Death, came to be, since it appears that he does not remember.

This meeting could be seen as the turning point for Satan. Although he had certainly shown signs of what his nature was soon to be, it is in this passage that he really steps away from the all that was good and admits the will he has for his own life:

“Alone and without guide, half lost, I seek what readiest path leads where your gloomy bounds confine with Heaven… Direct my course: Directed, no mean recompense it brings to your behoof, if I that region lost, all usurpation thence expelled, reduce to her original darkness… and once more erect the standard there of ancient Night; yours be the advantage all, mine the revenge! (2.975-977+980-987).
By the end of Paradise Lost, Satan openly claims his children, even sending them to Heaven as representatives:

“Thus the Prince of Darkness answered glad: ‘Fair daughter, and thou, son, and grandchild both, high proof ye now have given to be the race of Satan (For I glory in the name Antagonist of Heaven’s Almighty King)’” (5.383-387).

He no longer repels Sin and Death but welcomes them to his legions, prepared to use them for his own glory and what he hopes will later be the downfall of God.

Satan only becomes worse. His actions, damnable from the start, become worse and worse. The hesitance to ruin the perfection and beauty he sees is shortened with each occurrence. In book four, there is still a great tension, as though Satan is still not quite sure of what evil he is capable. He continues to be confused by the transformation that has taken place: “Satan, now first enflamed with rage, came down… Now conscience wakes despair that slumbered, wakes up the bitter memory of what he was, what is, and what must be worse” (4. 9+23-26). This passage makes it quite apparent that Satan is recognizing his own degradation. This progression gives him unrest. Perhaps it is this that leads him to deny God as his creator:

“The Apostate… thus replied: ‘That we were formed, then, say’st thou? and the work of secondary hands, by task transferred from Father to his Son? Strange point and new! Doctrine which we know whence learnt; who saw when this creation was?’” (5.852-857).

This seems to say that we cannot just believe something because we are told it to be true. This quote is commented on by C.S. Lewis, who points out the absurdity of what is being said:
“If a creature is silly enough to try to prove that it was not created, what is more natural than for it to say, ‘Well, I wasn’t there to se it being done’? Yet what more futile, since in this admitting ignorance of its own beginnings it proves that those beginnings lay outside itself” (97+98).

Satan denouncing the creation of himself by God marks another decline in the progression downward. It is another way in which Satan tries to become his own deity, putting himself on the same level, if not above, God. He begins to use his abilities as an angel to his own advantage, which shocks the celestial angels: “ ‘O Heaven! That such resemblance of the Highest should yet remain, where faith and realty remain not’” (6. 114-116).

His wrongdoings provoke Michael, the archangel, into speaking against him, as they fight for honor: “ ‘Author of Evil, unknown till thy revolt, unnamed in Heaven, now plenteous, as thou seest, these acts of hateful strife - hateful to all, though heaviest, by just measure, on thyself and thy adherents’” (6.262-266). It is when Michael wounds Satan that he realizes he is not of the same ilk of God he so wished to be: “Shame to find himself not matchless, and his pride humbled by such rebuke, so far beneath his confidence to equal God in power” (6.341-344).

There is even evidence of a physical change. Satan is often described as he once was:
“ ‘Think not… thy shape the same, or undiminished brightness, to be known as when thou stood’st in Heaven upright and pure. That glory then, when thou no more wast good, departed from thee; and thou resembles now thy sin and place of doom obscure and foul’” (4.835-840).

We see, especially in book two, that Satan is described as glorious - a beautiful, magnificent thing to behold; yet, his appearance, as he uses it to deceive Eve, seems to become tinged with the evil that he is trying to give a foothold: “Thence up he flew, and on the Tree of Life… sat like a cormorant (Emphasis added), yet not true life thereby regained, but sat devising death to them who lived” (4.194-198). His descriptions are more evidently evil, and though his ability to follow through with his plan to ruin Man might falter, his intentions are never in doubt: “Back to the thicket slunk the guilty serpent” (9.784-785); however, we do notice that although he changes in the perception of the ethereal, Eve cannot see through his deception so easily:

“The Serpent wise, or not restrained as we are or not obeying, hath eaten of the fruit, and is become, not dead as we are threatened, but thence forth endued with human voice and human sense, reasoning to admiration and with me persuasively hath so prevailed” (9. 867-872).

Should we suppose that the human eyes cannot see through Satan‘s deception? No. It was not only Eve who did recognize him for what he was. The guards whom Satan confused also did not recognize him. They were unable to perceive the double meanings or to comprehend the way Satan twisted words to mean something other than they had been said to mean: “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?’” (Gen.3.1).

In Paradise Regained, we get a picture of Satan which is still deceiving and even more sinister:

“Now an ancient man in rural weeds, following, as seemed, the quest of some stray ewe, or withered sticks to gather, which might serve against winter’s day when winds blow keen, to warm him wet returned from field at eve, he saw approach, who first with curious eye perused him” (1.314-320).

There is this physical degradation that we see taking place, and not only us - the characters have also pointed it out. This is heavy evidence that there is a marked change in Satan that is worth taking the time to notice. If nothing else, the admiration he receives from Sin and Death should worry us: “Sin opening, who thus now to Death began: ‘O Son, why sit we here, each other viewing idly, while Satan, our great author, thrives in other worlds, and happier seat provides for us, his offspring dear?’” (10. 234-238).

Probably the greatest evidence that one might use to say that Satan has not developed is the way his emotions play out. In book four, he is clearly feeling bitter about his position compared to that of the other angels:

“I, therefore, I alone, first undertook to wing the desolate abyss, and spy this new-created World, whereof in Hell fame is not silent, here in hope to find better abode, and my afflicted Powers to settle here on Earth, or in mid Air; though for possession put to try once more what thou and thy gay legions dare against, whose easier business were to serve their Lord high up in Heaven, with songs to hymn his throne, and practiced distances to cringe, not fight” (935-945).

These words of bitterness are counted by another angel, who makes reference to Satan’s unrest while he was still welcome in Heaven: “And thou, sly hypocrite, who now wouldst seem Patron of liberty, who more than thou once fawned, and cringed, and servilely adored Heaven’s awful Monarch?” (4.957-960). This bitterness and anger seems to always hover, controlled as well as can be, beneath the surface of Satan’s every word and action. When he tempts Eve, it may not be so obvious in appearance, but the undertone of his words and actions cannot hide his true purpose: To destroy:
“Satan revives, collects his host, decides upon revenge, escapes upon revenge, escapes from Hell, ascends through Chaos, comes to the Universe, to the Earth, to Eden, to Paradise, to Adam and Eve. Each step brings him closer to his intended prey and heightens the sense of impending danger… His attack on Eve’s fancy has come to infect her will; we realize the Fall itself is imminent” (Ogden 316+320).

This sense of impending doom that Ogden describes is one of the bigger reasons some believe Satan is evil from the start; however, it might be good to consider that people often read with presuppositions. We know, even if we have limited knowledge of the scriptures, that Satan will tempt Eve, and we know that she will succumb; however, if one were to read this poem without having any knowledge of who Satan is, it is quite possible that Satan would be seen quite differently: As a fallen angel who progressively becomes blacker with the bitterness he can’t seem to choke. If one read it also without any knowledge of God, he or she might even find Satan justified in his actions (Do we really see evidence that he was not mistreated while in Heaven?). Sadly, we would be hard-pressed to find anyone with no knowledge of Satan or God.

Milton created a masterpiece with Paradise Lost. He took a risk by expounding on a story that is well known. He risked not only the possible anger of those who could not believe he had the gall to take such liberties, but he also risked that people might come to the poem with presuppositions, not taking the story of Satan as though it were of just another character. If Satan were called John, and we really believed him to be only John, we would spend the first four books yelling ‘Don’t do it!’ Satan never receives this good will, however, because the reader knows who and what he is; he is an immediate threat. This is not a weak point on the part of Milton. He was very clear in his writing and the way he presented Satan. It is the reader who must come to the story with an open mind. By no means are we going to find Satan the unfortunate angel who did all he could to do right, by the end of the poem, but we do find that he is not immediately the enemy. Milton gave us a beautiful illustration of the dangers that can come to those who put themselves above God and fight Him for that place - the disintegration of that creature’s morals and character. Satan is the ultimate tragic hero whose strength as a character is lost within the conjecture of the knowledgeable reader. We should remember, as we approach such a story as this, to keep an open mind and be ready for whatever journey the creator chooses. To truly understand and appreciate the strength of a story such as that in Paradise Lost, we must be willing to leave our history at the door and look at it with newborn eyes.

Intolerance and Love Don't Share A Bed

2011-11-05T21:48:00.000-04:00

It’s one of those nights where I can’t sleep, because there is too much on my mind.

As some know, my biggest pet peeve is intolerance. It’s not something I advertise too much, because there is a lot of it, and I mean A LOT of it. What sort of intolerance am I thinking about? All sorts, but mostly I mean intolerance of another person’s religion/belief system. That’s a loaded phrase, yes, but has anyone else noticed how quickly some people tear down others who don’t believe like they do?

I remember once having a debate with someone whose beliefs were opposite of my own. Instead of arguing fairly and defending himself with knowledge, he instead ridiculed me because I was a ‘savage’ American and called me intolerant. This, needless to say, pressed the wrong button. I told him that I would not try to defend what I believed if he was so unwilling to put himself on the same level as me. If I had been in any way insulting of him, I wouldn’t have cared that he accused me of intolerance; however, I had done my best to defend what I was saying by quoting his own doctrine, and I was careful to never argue about him - only what he believed. This did not go over very well.

This is all to show that I see people in two parts: As a person and the way they live (Their doctrine). I am able to separate the two and not let them interfere with my contact with that person. For example: I will not let the fact that a person I know is gay interfere with me being a friend to that person. Isn’t the purpose of a Christian’s life to show love to men? I don’t think God specified and gave certain personality traits of people we should minister to. I have read nowhere in God’s word that I am to hate Muslims, Homosexuals, Thieves, etc.… I understand that I should not follow in their beliefs, but God does not teach intolerance.

Where am I coming from? A man once asked me if I hated him because he didn’t believe what I did. I was shocked that he could even think that, but he explained to me that he had received that reaction from other ‘Christians.’ This, quite frankly, angered me. I have heard similar stories of people with bad pasts being shunned in churches because they were ‘sinners.’ I want to go to that church and say, “Hey! I’m sure that you were born perfect and have every right to stick your nose up in the air!” Oh my GOODNESS people! Are we so wrapped in our own bubbles that we can’t see the world is hungry for love and acceptance?! I can’t even bring myself to call people who are so intolerant Christian’s. They are creating a stereotype for other people to put all Christians into. This is wrong, and it makes me angry. I should not have to defend my love of other people. I don’t care if someone is from a completely different world. I will love that person with as much unconditional love as God permits. Since God is omnipotent, I’m sure I won’t run out of it any time soon. I never want people to say I am intolerant. I am accepting of all just as they are.

If every Christian applied this idea to the way they lived, there wouldn’t be this stereotype for Christians to fight. People should know that we love them. If they did, perhaps then they would listen to us.

Another raving sermon from me to you. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. It just is a topic that is very important and real to me. I want to be real with people… I hope you do too.

The 1918 Influenza

2011-11-05T21:47:00.000-04:00

The 1918 Influenza is an almost forgotten pandemic. Many would think that the enormous violence of it, and the number of deaths that were the outcome, would have made more of an impression on the world than it has. History books rarely say more than a paragraph about it, and what is written about it does not even hint at the ferocity of it. In the 2001 World Encyclopedia, there is only a paragraph of information, and the information is not even close to stating the information adequately.

In the Spring of 1918, around mid February, a mild influenza started at a military camp in Kansas. The troops dubbed it, “Three day fever” because it usually lasted about three days, and only on rare occasions did people die. Nevertheless, in only four months, the mild strain had swept the globe, killing tens of thousands. In Boston, it infected 81 people in the space of four days. In London, 1,175 died in three weeks. But this was only the first wave of the influenza, and the milder of the two. No one was prepared when, only a month after the world had recovered from the mild influenza, it sprang up again, in a military camp at Fort Devens, Massachusetts.

On August 22nd, the first person who had the second strain of the influenza was diagnosed as having cerebrospinal meningitis. Because the doctors did not believe that a flu would have such extreme symptoms. The soldier came in with a fever, headache, burning eyes, chills, and a sore body. Soon, signs of delirium started. His face turned a brownish-purple color, he started coughing up blood, and his feet turned black. He was dead only days after showing symptoms. The next day, eight more soldiers walked into the hospital with the same symptoms. The day after that, 58 more. The fourth day, 81 more were sick. The next week, 118. Then they started dying, two hours to five days after being infected. An average of 100 soldiers died per day. Out of the 300 nurses caring for the men, 90 died. The doctors there begged the government to send scientists to diagnose the illness and try to find a cure before it spread out of the camp.

The government sent William H. Welch, a well known and revered medical scientist in America. It was said of him, “(He can) ...transform men’s lives almost with the flick of a wrist.” He was looked up to, and was considered one of the most important medical professors of the age. When he did an autopsy on one of the victims of the influenza, he actually trembled with fear at what he saw. The lungs were filled with blood and fluids. The victims were dying because they were drowning in their own blood. The doctors who were assisting him were shocked at his response when he said, “This must be some new kind of infection... Or plague.”

So the influenza started, plaguing the young and healthy with an 80% death rate. The mild strain that had swept the globe in February had mutated into a deadly flu. The doctors were very hesitant to call the sickness a flu. Some called it Bronchopneumonia. Others called it things like an Epidemic Respiratory Infection, or an unidentified pandemic disease. Doctors raced to find a vaccine, but nothing was effective. Throughout the states, the influenza attacked the humans lung cells, and black feet indicated the death that would inevitably occur.

Massachusetts was the first state to suffer huge numbers of deaths, but it quickly spread. The Great Lakes Training Station, in Chicago, Illinois, was struck hard. 2,600 men were squeezed into barracks for 1,800. In a military camp in Ohio that held 13,161 men, 1,101 died. Some cities had multiple waves of the strain. Louisville, Kentucky suffered three waves in rapid succession. San Francisco was told to start digging graves in preparation for the influenza. In many cities, they made it a requirement to wear a surgical mask at all times. In San Francisco alone, they distributed 5,000 masks in one hour. Fines for leaving the home without a mask were a minimum of $5, to 30 days in jail. Seattle and New York were two other cities that required the masks. In most cities any public gatherings were banned, but some churches continued to meet outside. If you were sick while traveling by ship, you were told to sleep on deck, with no one to nurse you, to lessen the chance that others would get ill. Sheets were hung in military barracks to keep soldiers from breathing on one another. The influenza was nicknamed, “Purple Death.”

Philadelphia was the hardest hit American city. The doctors there claimed that the influenza wouldn’t survive because of the climate, so they didn’t even try to take any precautions. When it struck, 4,500 died in two weeks. In one day, 759 died. Morgues were so crowded with bodies that embalmers refused to go into them. Funerals were limited to 15 minutes long. There were ten times more bodies than caskets to put them in. Signs were posted, begging people not to spit or close their windows. Priests drove carts down the streets, calling out, asking people to bring out their dead. There was such a need for doctors that they asked for volunteer doctors, and didn’t require someone with a medical degree. 72,000 volunteered. Non Certified doctors and nurses were frantically assigned to hospitals in need. The number of dead bodies was so great, mass graves were dug, and bodies thrown in without coffins. Grave-diggers were accused of dealing ghoulishly with the bodies, but there simply wasn’t enough time to do anything differently. One doctor said, “The life of the city had almost stopped.”

Between September 11th, and October 3rd, there were an estimated 75,000 cases of the influenza in America. September through November, the American Expeditionary Force listed 9,144 deaths. In September alone, 12,000 American’s died. In all, 38% of the American Army and Navy were killed. More American soldiers, not including civilians, died than those in the Korean War, the Vietnam War, World War I, and World War II, put together. Rumors were spread that the influenza was an act of war: That the German drug company, Bayer, was mixing the virus with the aspirin they were sending to the states; Or maybe the German military released an airborne virus in Boston Harbor and other major American cities.

But the US was not the only place to suffer. Within two months, the entire globe was infected, excluding Australia, and islands under Australia’s jurisdiction. Australia, when hearing about the virus, cut off all contact of the outside world.

They got the better end of the deal. The French army suffered at least 10,158 deaths in three months. The French called the influenza, “La Grippe.” In two months, the British Expeditionary Force suffered at least 3,656 deaths. In Wales, two thirds of the population died. In Germany, people were literally dropping dead in the streets. The Germans called it, “Blitzkatarrh,” which means, “Lightning.” An Eskimo village of 80 people was hit, and when the influenza had passed, only five adults and a number of children had survived.

But those numbers pale in comparison of the overall affect of the influenza. It killed more in a year than the Black Death had killed in 100 years. More people died in 24 days than those that die from AIDS in 24 years. It killed more in it’s duration than any other disease in history. The number of deaths was at least 50 million, but is more likely over 100 million. There is no way to find the actual amount of deaths, because it swept the globe so fast and thoroughly that accounts of it are vague, and in many places, nonexistent. In 1917, the average life expectancy was 51 years. In 1918, it dropped 12 years.

Doctors and scientists were so very frightened by the event, they immediately started looking for a vaccine, in the case that the virus might appear again. Richard Shope proved that the influenza was caused by a virus, and later, Wilson Smith discovered the virus that caused it. But this was no help.

The common flu mutates, at least once, annually. That is why new vaccines for it come out every year. But the flu mutates so fast that the vaccine quickly becomes useless. Since the 1918 Influenza was the common flu, mutated, Richard Shope’s discovery of the virus was useless. The exact same flu pattern happening again is slim, so why create a vaccine for a specific virus that will most likely never strike again? But the possibility of another bad mutation is pretty good. In fact, bad mutations of the influenza have already happened twice, but were stopped before they could spread too far. Statistics show that if the wrong mutation occurred again, it would result in 1.5 million deaths in America alone. That is roughly the number of citizens of Nebraska! The deaths would numerate over the number of deaths from heart disease, cancers, strokes, Chronic Pulmonary Disease, AIDS, and Alzheimer in one year.

So why is the 1918 Influenza so avoided when it had, and can have, such disastrous results? Alfred Crosby believes that the people who survived it are too terrified of it to speak about it. Another reason might be that it killed no big political leaders. It also left nothing behind. No cripples, no lasting disorders to those that managed to survive, and so on.

It is America’s forgotten pandemic; A killer that ravaged the globe, killing millions. Then it disappeared, leaving the world to recuperate. It is the common flu. Something that the world is so used to, they don’t even see it as a threat. The world is almost unaware that it has ever wreaked such destruction. The only question is, will the world be ready if it happens again?

My Top 20 Books and Why You Should Read Them

2011-11-05T21:46:00.000-04:00

If I tagged you in this, it is because I know of your interest in books and think you might be interested in at least one of them. They are of all sorts, and for all ages, so take it with a grain of salt. They are listed in alphabetical order, by author, and there are five honorable mentions. Enjoy!

1. “Watership Down,” by Richard Adams - This is what should be considered an old classic and is considered so by many. It creates a whole new culture for you to consider and examine, and it will forever change the way you look at rabbits. It is one of the few books that I have immediately loved. It is easy to enjoy by someone of any age, and it is also a good story to read aloud as a family event.

2. “The Lost Choice,” by Andy Andrews - Andy Andrews is an author I would recommend to anyone. His stories always contain a mix of history, morality, and the affect one person can have upon another. This particular one focuses on how your choices can dramatically affect history, and he uses great detail of people in history to explain this, using the stories of Oskar Schindler, John Adams, and George Washington Carver, just to name a few. This can be enjoyed by someone of any age but would be better understood and appreciated by young adults and up.

3. “Pride and Prejudice,” by Jane Austin - Another classic! This is definitely geared toward women rather than men, but both can enjoy it. It is extremely humorous, witty, and complex in it’s exploration of characters. It will be a harder read for people who are not used to the style of that time, but it gets easier as you read more of it, so it is worth the patience!

4. “Fire By Night,” by Lynn Austin - This is by a contemporary author who enjoys combining her stories with history. This particular story is about two women during the Civil War: One who becomes a nurse, and one who enlists in the army, disguised as a man. It is a romance, so it is geared towards women, but it’s take on the times is very interesting, and it’s message is important. I would recommend it to anyone who likes history, especially if they have an interest in the Civil War and the way things were during that time.

5. “The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic In History,” by John M. Barry - This is actually a history book, not a novel. I read three books on this subject at once, and this was my favorite of the three. It reads like a novel, and it is not heavy on meticulous descriptions. It talks about not only the influenza pandemic, but it also describes the world economy and politics at that time, and will really open your eyes. It is amazing to read, and rich with details. If you are easily worried or made nervous, do not read this book. Otherwise, I would recommend it to adults, not children.

6. “The Murder of Tutankhamen,” by Bob Brier - This is another history book/not a novel. This was my introduction to Egyptian history, and rightly so, as Brier is one of the leading Egyptologist’s of our time. Even though Brier’s theory of King Tut’s murder has recently been proven to be impossible, it is still filled with history and interesting facts about the culture and people of Egypt. I would recommend it to people of every age, especially those with interest in mysteries and history.

7. “And Then There Were None,” by Agatha Christie - This book is also known as “Ten Little Indians” and is considered one of Agatha Christie’s best works, closely rivaled by the mysteries involving Poirot and Miss Marple. If you expect it to end like the movie, you will be surprised. It is not like the most common mystery, which is why I think I love it so much. Christie is known for writing mysteries that no one can solve, and this one is no exception. I recommend it for any age, though I think it would be better enjoyed by older readers interested in mysteries and good twists.

8. “Blink,” by Ted Dekker - Ted Dekker, as many know, is my favorite author of all time. His books often contain elements of mystery, suspense, romance, and spirituality. This book is about a woman from the Middle East, trying to run away from an arranged marriage, who ends up needing the help of an American man who has visions of possible futures. The book contains the arguments they have about God as well, because she is Muslim, and he is an Atheist. The book is written in such a way that it explains how God can be omniscient and still give us free will in a way that is easy to understand, so if you’re confused about that element of faith, read this book! Good for any ages, but especially young adults and up.

9. “The Circle Trilogy,” by Ted Dekker - Yes, more of Dekker! This trilogy, I think, can be compared to the “Chronicles of Narnia” in that it creates the stories of Creation, the life and death of Christ, and life under the new covenant, in a new world, much like Narnia. What makes it even more awesome is that it combines this with a completely different story about a possible biological terrorist attack in the present day. You just have to read it, because I could gush about it on and on. I recommend this most highly to adults, though it is certainly okay for any age. If you like mystery, a bit of romance, adventures, thrills, and a good scripture lesson (J), read this trilogy. I recommend this higher than any other book in this list.

10. The Sherlock Holmes mysteries, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - What can I say? Doyle probably created the most iconic detective in history, and he created a good one. I have enjoyed Holmes since I read “Hound of the Baskervilles” when I was eleven or twelve. The short stories are amazing, as are the books, and I would recommend him for the bright minds of any age, especially as an introduction to mysteries for children.

11. “The O’Malley Series,” by Dee Henderson - I was given the first three books in this series by my sister-in-law and had all seven books in the series read within a month. They are, quite frankly, captivating. They can be a bit predictable, but the characters are unforgettable, the plots are very creative, and you never see the same thing twice. I enjoyed, especially, the fact that each character was so different. You see a firefighter, an FBI agent, a forensic psychologist, etc. These are recommended if you like romance, mystery, and a thriller. More written for women, young adults and up.

12. “American Anthem Series,” by B. J. Hoff - Hoff was the first romance writer I ever read, remains one of my favorite authors. This series is about the story of a woman whose sister died while married to a blind, 19th century, Italian composer, leaving behind a little girl. The story is captivating in it’s fill of culture, history, and romance. It is a beautiful series, and I recommend it to young adults and up who enjoy romance.

13. “A Wolf Story,” by James Byron Huggins - This story is, in many ways, similar to the approach C. S. Lewis took in creating Narnia with animals as God’s creation, in place of Earth and Man. I found the book to be creative and ingenious and devoured it from front cover to back. I would recommend it to any age and think that guys especially will enjoy the way that wolves were used in the story.

14. “Les Misérables,” by Victor Hugo - If you are not used to reading direct translations, which can be very hard to read (And I know for a fact that Les Misérables is one of those books), I recommend that you read the adaptation done by Jim Reimann. It is done extremely well and stays true to the original. This story is so beautiful and tells a powerful story of grace and forgiveness that everyone should hear. I recommend it for any age, but especially for adults. It can be very moving and uplifting for those who read it with an open heart.

15. “Left Behind Series,” by Jerry Jenkins and Tim Lahaye - I expect to get groans about this one, because many people have problems with this series because they do not have the same ideas as the authors; However, if you move past what you don’t agree with, this 12 book series is found to be done incredibly well. It is full of unforgettable characters and speaks the message of a saving God. I recommend it mostly for young adults and up. Children may have difficulty with the violence and understanding the doctrine of the series.

16. “The Chronicles of Narnia,” by C. S. Lewis - I’m sure that it was guessed that these books would be mentioned, as I have already mentioned them twice. If you enjoy fantasy, wit, and creative genius, I highly recommend these. Lewis writes like no one else, and these books can be a real treat for anyone who takes the time to enjoy them.

17. “The Twilight Saga,” by Stephenie Meyer - If you keep up with any hype these days, you will have heard of these books. I only read them because I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, and I found them to be extremely fun to read. The plots are creative and original, and the characters are unique and lovable. They are addicting and easy to get into. I recommend them to women of any age, though some men, who enjoy a good romance, will also enjoy them.

18. “Piercing the Darkness,” by Frank E. Peretti - This book was my introduction to Peretti, and it is a work of art on paper. Peretti creates a very visual example of the great effect that prayer can have on people and a community. It is an interesting way to look at prayer, and one of Peretti’s better works. I recommend this to adults and mature teens.

19. “Where the Red Fern Grows,” by Wilson Rawls - I got this book on audio tape when I was very young, and it quickly became my favorite. I listened to it so much that one of my brothers finally hid the tapes. It still makes me cry every time I read it, but I never grow sick of it. Rawls is a very visual person, and this heart wrenching story can take your imagination to some of the most beautiful places. It tells the story of dedication between a boy and his dogs as they grow up together. It contains stories of sacrifice, love, and hard work. This book was written more for boys, but I recommend it to anyone of any age, especially if you enjoy a story with real heart.

20. “The Harry Potter Series,” by J. K. Rowling - Ah, the great controversy of whether of not it is wrong to read these books! Okay, I can understand the problems that some people have with these, but I think that you should decide whether or not you read these based on your own conscience, not what others tell you. I read all of these within five months, and I actually read the entirety of the last one the day it was published, so, obviously, I don’t have a personal problem with the books. I find them funny, creative, thought-provoking, and, overall, a joy to read. The characters are wonderful, and the story is so intricately woven throughout the seven books, you wonder how Rowling managed it. I recommend these to anyone and everyone who enjoys fantasy, mystery, and just wants a laugh.

Honorable Mentions:

~ “Island of Saints,” by Andy Andrews - If you like reading about history that you’ve probably never heard of, read this book. This is a true story about a couple that Andrews met and turned into a book. It talks about the German submarines that were sinking American ships during WW2. I recommend for all ages, though young adults and up will especially enjoy them, especially if there is an interest in obscure history.

~ “Daylight and Nightmare,” by G. K. Chesterton - This is a collection of several short stories, and it is incredibly interesting. Chesterton can be hard for many to get through, because he writes about deep subjects in obscure ways. If you can get used to his style, he is very fun to read. I recommend him most highly to adults.

~ “Bud, Not Buddy,” by Christopher Paul Curtis - This book is so funny I was in tears as I read it. This heart-felt story of an orphan boy, trying to find his grandfather, is very touching and uplifting. I love all of Curtis’ work, but I have a special place in my heart for this book. I recommend it for all ages.

~ “Redeeming Love,” by Francine Rivers - This story is an adaptation of the story of Hosea, in the Bible. It is very well done and a touching story. Rivers has done many adaptations like this, but this is my personal favorite. I recommend this for mature women.

~ “The Lord of the Rings Trilogy,” by J. R. R. Tolkien - I’m sure that most will be shocked (or annoyed) that this was not in the top 20, but it is what is to me. The story is wonderful, and Tolkien is brilliant, but I have a hard time reading him. I like reading dialogue, but Tolkien spends pages and pages of description. I can’t concentrate on that for very long, so it takes me quite a while to read through his books; However, as I said, he is brilliant, and so are his books. I love them, even if they are hard for me to get through. I recommend them to young adults and up who enjoy fantasy.

Okay! There are my top twenty, or rather, twenty-five! And I didn't even mention Wodehouse or Poe! Movies will be next! As you can see, I am a reader. Most of these either are layered with history, are literature, or they are funny. All of them I have read at least twice, and some of them I have read closer to twenty times, or even more than that. Books are a wonderful was to escape somewhere for awhile, and these books are the ones that I found the most riveting. So, look over my list, see if there is one that interests you. If you want to know more about one of them, or want my complete list of my 100 top books, just let me know! And, if you want to take the time, you can tell me your top 20!

Appreciating the Eloquence of Rachmaninov’s 3rd Concerto

2011-11-05T21:43:00.000-04:00

Sergei Rachmaninov was born on April 1st, 1873. He was the one of six children in a well-to-do, aristocratic, Russian family. He lived a life tinged with sorrow and disappointments. At a very young age, he was encouraged in his piano abilities by his mother, a professional pianist, and Rachmaninov was later able to obtain a scholarship to the Petersburg Conservatory. To the disappointment of teachers, who recognized his talent, he was an unruly and troublesome student.

In 1885, by recommendation of Alexander Siloti, Nikolai Zverev took Rachmaninov as a piano student in his special school for aristocratic families. Talent, not wealth, was a necessity. Rachmaninov was not eager to move to Moscow, but was comforted by the fact that his sister, Elena, would also be moving there to sing in the Bolshoi Opera House. However, she died before she even was able to travel there. Rachmaninov was devastated.

Rachmaninov’s studies with Zverev were intense and demanding. Practice began at two in the morning, and the students were required to play extremely complicated music from memory for distinguished dinner guests. One piece Rachmaninov learned to play by heart, after only two years of study, was Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, for eight hands, two pianos. Memorization of music was, without doubt, one of Rachmaninov’s greatest gifts.

Throughout his life, Rachmaninov continued his musical studies with various teachers, such as Taneyev. His compositions grew more and more complex, until three happenings in rapid succession, ripped his world apart. Two of his heroes, Tchaikovsky and Zverev, died, and the performance of his first symphony was a disaster, because of a drunken orchestra director. Rachmaninov sank into a deep depression, and after several years, when it become apparent that he was not getting any better, his friends persuaded him to seek help. After three months of intense therapy from Dr. Dahl, Rachmaninov started composing again.

In 1909, just nine years later, Rachmaninov wrote one of his greatest works: His Piano Concerto No. 3 in D Minor. This piece was, and is still today, considered the most difficult piece for any accomplished pianist to master. Rachmaninov himself, a master of the piano, did not deny having problems with the technical aspect of the piece. The piece was written to be played in Rachmaninov’s first tour of the United States. Played for the first time in New York, it was a great success.

The third concerto is a work of art no matter from which aspect you view it. It has a beautiful melody line that you find yourself humming. It is simple enough to remember, yet varied in numerous ways so that it never becomes monotonous. The technicality is daunting to any musician, but the skilled pianist makes it look and sound easy. The piece as a whole is haunting and tainted with a Russian aura that permeated many of Rachmaninov’s works.

Rachmaninov’s concerto was unique in that it did not fit the style of concertos during that time. Mozart had long ago set the style for any concerto: Three movement form, with contrasting rhythms and tones. This basic form was still used during Rachmaninov’s time, but a more atonal and dissonant sound was being heard in the music, and the scores were written in such a way that the soloist and orchestra were rivals. Rachmaninov adhered to the style of the Romantic period, not so much focusing on the idea of the orchestra playing against the piano, as if in combat, but rather the orchestra and piano complimented each other, more like dance partners.

Today, the 3rd concerto is considered to be ‘the’ piece for an accomplished pianist to learn. It was the piece selected by Olga Kern which won her the International Van Cliburn Competition in 2001. In 2007, it won Alexander Ghindin first prize in the Cleveland International Competition. In the 2006 Hamamatsu International Piano Competition, in Japan, the concerto was played by the third prize winner, Tae-Hyung Kim. It was used by Leif Ove Andsnes as his Russian debut piece. It is a piece mastered by talents from all over the world such as Lang Lang (China), Martha Argerich (Argentina), Van Cliburn (United States), Vladimir Ashkenazy (Russia),Vikingur Olafsson (Iceland), and Jorge Bolet (Cuba). It was also made popular through the movie “Shine,” based on the story of David Helfgott and his mission to learn the concerto.

What is it about Rachmaninov’s 3rd Concerto that makes it such a attraction, not only to pianist wanting to show off his or her technique, but also to those that listen to it? Perhaps a walk through the concerto will help paint the clearest vision of this masterpiece.

The concerto opens with an extremely short orchestral introduction, to establish the rhythm and key signature of the piece. The piano enters at the third measure, establishing the main theme. The theme is a simple, step-wise melody line that is beautiful as well as mysterious. When the melody has been introduced, the orchestra repeats it, with the piano playing complicated arpeggios and trills above it, making it appear that the piano and orchestra have switched parts. The theme grows in intensity and is developed by layering the melody more and more subtly within the development. Rachmaninov’s love of full sounding chords, complicated technique, and a beautiful melody line are very obvious. After the development, the theme is reintroduced and then developed in a way that heads into a totally different direction. Whereas the development in the beginning had contained a sweeter and more sympathetic overtone, the second major development is darker and heavier, as if the music is reaching for it’s highest emotional pull, so as to convey the great emotions it can not put into words. The climax of the second development slowly dies, with the help of light, chromatic scales, and seems to enter into a new world of musical curiosity. This development seems to end on a question mark, rather that a statement. Then the development is further developed into an almost angry or frustrated tone color. In the soloist’s cadenza, the music seems to climb upwards, as though trying to grasp that emotion that it can’t quite express completely. As the climax reaches it’s fullest height, Rachmaninov again used gentle arpeggios to relax the listener, and leads into a gentle melody that makes you want to laugh and weep all at once. This quiet melody subtly leads you into the third repeat of the main melody, and before you know it, you are back where you started. The Allegro unexpectedly ends on a note of mystery.

The second movement (Intermezzo) introduces an entirely new theme, as well as a new rhythm and tone. The orchestra plays a long introduction, which has a great feeling of the lowest depths of sadness. When the piano finally enters, it is on a note of a heavier sadness, as though one is angry at the same time. The pianist has a brief moment to explain the pain and the orchestra reenters, as if to quiet the piano with a calmer descant. The piano seems to agree to calm, though a burst of anger seems to come through, as if it cannot not be completely calmed. It is an unexpected emotion in this movement, because it started so quietly. As the melody develops, however, the huge chords take on a different light, the sound seeming almost painful in musical texture. It further develops into a section that has quick repetition of notes, sound almost like flight, then slowly mellows away from this idea. The orchestra takes over, developing this theme and bringing us back to a sound similar to the beginning of the Intermezzo. This idea is suddenly burst and forgotten when the piano enters with flying scales, octaves, and thick chords. This abrupt change brings you dramatically into the Finale.

The Finale takes on such an unexpected transformation from the Intermezzo that one almost forgets to pay attention to the wonderful developments taking place through the virtuosic technique of the pianist. Almost before you can catch your breath, the pure dramatic display of this new, and yet familiar theme being fully revealed. Rachmaninov’s ability to express so much, and yet not simplify anything in the least, was one of his greatest gifts. He was considered to be a pianist who knew the limits of the virtuosic pianist, and his music pushed for every ounce of talent and technique the performer could possibly muster. It did not transcend the pianist’s ability, but rather it made sure that the pianist could not play without the utmost balance of talent and well-practiced technique. The Scherzando of the Finale seems to briefly move away from the theme, and show off the players technical abilities, then it moves from that into light arpeggios and scales, almost imperceptibly playing a beautiful melody line, which too few performers of the piece seem to recognize. This theme lowers quickly, running down the scale, and into the development of the Finale’s beginning theme. One of the best things Rachmaninov did for this piece was to give the player a rest from the large chorded climaxes and melded into the piece many fragments of lighter developments of the theme. He used this structure well throughout the entire piece, but it is especially noticeable in the finale. The melody is given time to structure itself and is given an almost transcendent beauty as the piano takes its moments to breath and slowly play a small melody line before the orchestra quietly hums the beginning chords and the movement has recognizably begun it’s main theme over again. One can almost feel that the orchestra is holding back slightly, as though afraid to reenter the world of heightened emotions that the soloist is constantly bringing its listener back to; However, when the soloist enters, the orchestra seems to finally give in to the pure magic of rich emotions that only Rachmaninov was able to display in his music. The Vivace noticeably draws it’s listener into a climax with its upward motion and march-like tempo. The orchestra builds up suddenly, allowing the soloist to almost sing it’s melody line from the first movement, which has developed in such a way that it unifies the entire piece together. The listener wonders how the music has reached a place of such naked and vulnerable emotion. As if coming to grips with the emotions themselves, the soloist makes one last climb to the greatest heights of emotion, almost bringing its listener to tears, then brings itself back down, as if resolved to no longer be controlled by sadness and determined to live life to its fullest.

Classical music critics have not been easy on Rachmaninov. His works are so technical that they believe he is too technical. They compare him to the composers who wrote scores and scores of some of the most beautiful music ever heard; and yet one should still consider this: Perhaps it is not the amount of pieces that a composer writes that makes he or she the best but rather the quality of those singularly outstanding works and their ability to touch people in a way that no other music can. Rachmaninov may not have written the most outstanding music, or the best, even, but he did something that no other composer has ever done: He wrote music that defines emotions in their most quintessential form and surpasses what we can put into words.

"The Code of a Gentleman"

2011-11-05T21:42:00.000-04:00

"Without a strict observance of the fundamental Code of Honor, no man, no matter how 'polished,' can be considered a gentleman. The honor of a gentleman demands the inviolability of his word, and the incorruptibility of his principles. He is the descendant of the knight, the crusader; he is the defender of the defense-less and the champion of justice . . . or he is not a Gentleman.

"A Gentleman . . .

"Does not discuss his family affairs in public or with acquaintances.

"Does not speak more than casually about his girl friend.

"Does not go to a lady's house if he is affected by alcohol. He is temperate in the use of alcohol.

"Does not lose his temper; nor exhibit anger, fear, hate, embarrassment, ardor or hilarity in public.

"Does not hail a lady from a club window.

"A gentleman never discusses the merits or demerits of a lady.

"Does not mention names exactly as he avoids the mention of what things cost.

"Does not borrow money from a friend, except in dire need. Money borrowed is a debt of honor, and must be repaid as promptly as possible. Debts incurred by a deceased parent, brother, sister or grown child are assumed by honorable men as a debt of honor.

"Does not display his wealth, money or possessions.

"Does not put his manners on and off, whether in the club or in a ballroom. He treats people with courtesy, no matter what their social position may be.

"Does not slap strangers on the back nor so much as lay a finger on a lady.

"Does not 'lick the boots of those above' nor 'kick the face of those below him on the social ladder.'

"Does not take advantage of another's helplessness or ignorance and assumes that no gentleman will take advantage of him.

"A Gentleman respects the reserves of others, but demands that others respect those which are his.

"A Gentleman can become what he wills to be. . . ."

(Published by VMI)

Sure on this shining night

2011-05-26T01:41:00.000-04:00

Sure on this shining night by James Agee

Sure on this shining night
Of star made shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.
The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.
Hearts all whole.
Sure on this shining night I weep for wonder wand'ring far
alone
Of shadows on the stars.

Some Days... Are Some Days

2011-04-19T18:50:00.004-04:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel almost unbearably grumpy - you say something in a sharp tone and then inwardly kick yourself? Right now, I feel that way, and it has a lot to do with having a migraine, today. So, I'm thankful for the little things.

I'm thankful that I don't have migraines every day, as opposed to once or twice a week.

I'm glad that I can talk to Abbie about the dangers of shaving your legs when you have goosebumps (razor burn sucks; let me tell you).

I'm thankful that I can be a good friend when it's important - even if sometimes I feel like I'm failing.

I'm thankful when God shows me what there is to be thankful for.

I'm glad that I can shower in the dark without dying.

I'm thankful for Holy Week. It's so awesome.

I'm thankful that it is so easy to smile - even when I'm in pain.

I'm thankful that my memories are so clear. I can remember the best and brightest of them when I'm low.

I'm thankful that it's a rainy, cloudy day.

I'm thankful that we're having supper soon.

I'm thankful that you all love me. That is a miracle, and I never take it for granted.

I love you all.

Sarah D.

All I Want Is You

2011-03-19T14:35:00.002-04:00

A wonderful song I sing for special occasions:

Once I looked for pleasure here; just living for each day.
All I found were endings although I'd had my way.
Now I know what trouble means. I needed someone real.
All I want is You, Lord. All I want is You!

All I want is You, Lord. All I want is You!
No one else but you, Lord. All I want is You.

Through the years - the many years - that You were wanting me,
I was looking everywhere, but You I could not see.
With my heart I still know, and I know You're all I need.
All I want is You, Lord. All I want is You!

All I want is You, Lord. All I want is You!
No one else but you, Lord. All I want is You.

Still Growing...

2010-08-30T16:29:00.004-04:00

Hello, my friends!

Well, it's been an interesting first week of school. I missed my first class I've EVER missed. That was hard... but it meant that I got to see Sandburg, which was nice. I also got to see my doctor, which wasn't so nice, but that is neither here nor there.

I'm still struggling with being honest about how I'm feeling. I admitted to myself, at least, that today I wanted someone to comfort me... yet I was unwilling to take the step which would provide me comfort. I mean, for me, to even want to cry with someone there: Big deal. To not reach for someone is unnatural, though. Obviously, I'm not where I should be, but patience will out.

Continue to pray for me, my friends :). I love you all.

TM

Progress for the Sake of Progress?

2010-08-21T21:57:00.003-04:00

Well, I opened up, recently, about the pain I've been going through, so I figured I might as well give an update :).

My health has been much worse, in the past week, than it was before I asked for prayer. I'm actually in enough pain that I have very little to no appetite. I'm having to force myself to eat so that I don't pass out or anything. I'm drinking an enormous amount of water, though, so that keeps me hydrated.

In spirits, I have been extremely well. God has blessed me so much, and I honestly feel no need to complain. I continue to seek the strength of God throughout this, and I hope you will all continue to keep me in your prayers :).

Love to you all! (S)

Growing Up

2010-08-12T01:56:00.004-04:00

Some of my friends are aware of my great struggles, these past several months, with dreadful pain and health. I am used to pain, because it is pretty much a way of life to me. It is a rare day when I don't hurt; however, I have recently been in much worse shape than usual. I feel like Satan is really fighting me. He knows that I prefer to hide my pain, and the more I try to hide it, the more I suffer. The more I suffer, the more I have to hide. It's a vicious cycle, and it is very much due to two things which I somehow came to accept as truths in my life:

1) Pain is something I will always have to live with. It is my way of life, and there is nothing I can do about it.
2) If other people know about my pain, they will also suffer; I must do all I can to hide my pain, thus allowing others to live without sharing in my suffering.

Through lots of prayer and talk with some friends - one in particular - I have come to realize that there are two things which are true, and they cancel out those things which I had accepted as truth:

1) Pain does not have to be a way of life. If God chooses to let me witness through my pain, so be it, but I should not automatically accept that without His expressed guidance.
2) When I am suffering, I can not do it alone. People were made to nurture and help one another. We are even told to bear one another's burdens. How can we do that if we are not truthful about our burdens?

So - Here's the deal. I need help. I need you to pray for me. Satan really wants me to feel weak and alone when I know in my heart that there are many brothers and sisters out there who are willing to help me through this. Honestly, I am tired of the pain... feeling alone... especially when I know that being alone is an illusion :).

Criticising Consistent Conformity in the Community

2010-07-29T21:01:00.000-04:00

I was talking to Amy, the other day, about loyalty. She was telling me that there seemed to be one constant among her friends: The ones who were members of gangs were better friends than those who she met in college. I considered this… Why would this be true? There is a very simple answer.

First, let’s consider the schooled individual; we’ll call this teenager Mandy. Mandy is raised in a home with two siblings and parents who both work. It isn’t a dysfunctional family, but neither is it cohesive. She goes to school, where she is taught that she can accomplish anything if she puts her mind to it. When she is old enough to go to college, she is told how great an individual can become. Feminism is put in the spotlight, and she learns about her personal rights and how to put those to use. When she graduates, with her degree in hand, she gets a successful job. She might not be a lawyer, but she is confident in herself… and shallow. She has been raised to believe in the power of the individual, and because of this, she will not be able to form symbiotic relationships.

Now, let’s focus on the gang member; we’ll call him Joe. Joe is raised in a dysfunctional family. Neither of his parents have high school degrees, and they don’t have great jobs, but they make due. In high school, Joe finds that the only place he feels comfortable is with others like him - the poor kids with troubled families. Come to find out, these people he gets close to are actually part of a gang. He feels so welcome there, he does what he can to become initiated. After this, he decides he really doesn’t need the schooling he thought he did, so he drops out and spends all his time with his friends. He is confident in himself because he is part of a family. He believes in the power of an alliance, and he knows he is backed up by his brothers even if it means death or imprisonment.

This is not meant to downplay a good education or to glorify the life of a gang. It is meant to point out that strength is in numbers - not the individual. The individualism that is taught, today, is creating people that have their point of view, and they defend it to the teeth without much regard of others. They give the whole speech about ‘Freedom of opinion’ when they don’t even allow you to disagree with them. When grasping their way to the top of the totem pole, there is little thought are worry about who they might hurt to get there, because it is all about them. When you are in a gang, there is functionality and alliance because there is a hierarchy, and there is the ‘brothers’ connection. You’ve seen, I’m sure, how so many young adults will call each other ‘brother’ without being related in any way. This is because they are a cohesive family. With the individualist, there is no family; only self. In the gang life, no matter how difficult things are going, loyalty is key, and if you aren’t loyal to your gang family, you pay for it.

This ties into the problems of the dysfunctional church. The best churches are the ones where the people are family. If someone comes to visit, they feel welcomed. Familial churches will often adopt someone who comes to more than two services. This is why church hopping can be so damaging. You can’t hop through gangs; you would get shot. When churches begin the individual thinking, that is when they split. In the church that is a family, there may be disagreements, but those are taken care of, usually, without bloodshed.

Yes: It is good to have an education. No: You do not have to be a gang member to have good friends. Yes: Individualism causes more problems than it fixes. No: You don’t have to take my word for it. The crumbling society around us speaks for itself.

Compassion and Integrity

2010-07-15T10:27:00.004-04:00

How is the chief end of Man to be accomplished? (I do not feel the need to be politically correct, here). What is the chief end of Man? As many in the church have probably heard at least once, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. In layman's terms: This should be the goal of a man's life.

I was recently having a conversation with my friend, David, about the legacy that a person leaves behind. I was commenting on the disappointment I sometimes felt at being recognized for the things I could do rather than the way I lived. I mean, yes, I can sing pretty well... I'm good with special needs children... I'm a hard worker. So David posed this question: What did I want people to remember about me when I was gone? What legacy did I want to leave behind? I told him the following: I want to be known for the passionate love I have for people. I want to be known for my honesty, compassion, and integrity.

As I thought about this to myself, this week, I found myself wondering if those following things really are meant to be my legacy. Sure, it would be nice to have people think well of me, but is that what God wants? Does He really care? When applying the exact characteristics I mentioned, the answer is yes and no. Yes, God wants us to leave behind an example of goodness - An example of His Son. No, it should not simply be our legacy. If I am known, when I die, as this person who could love so deeply and live with such integrity, it should be because of Who I lived in honour of. To glorify God, we live in the glorious, mirror image of His Son.

Now, the hard part. You think living righteously is hard, trying actually enjoying yourself! Okay - so it really shouldn't be that hard. In fact, I find it quite easy to enjoy God. This might mean different things for different people. For me, to enjoy God is to live with rapturous joy in the blessings He has provided me. Sometimes, I revel in the beautiful earth He has given me. People often tease me of my obsession with clouds... I love them because, to me, they boldly declare the wonders of God. Sometimes, I bask in the company of people that God has placed around me. I may not talk much, but just to be around people I love fills me with inexpressible joy. Sometimes, I sit in His sanctuary, wherever it may be at the moment (For Jesus has provided many forms of a sanctuary), and spend time in His Word. To enjoy God, enjoy what He has given you! Do not question Him, asking why He would give you something you do not deserve. Is that not like apologizing profusely? Praise the Lord for His gifts, whether they be wonders in nature, the people around you, the food on your plate! Whatever He has given, He has given to be enjoyed by His people.

I challenge you to live with integrity and joy in Christ. What better legacy can we leave?

TM

Help!

2010-05-23T14:17:00.002-04:00

I have been thinking about a new post - three, actually - and I am unsure of where to start. So... I figured I would put these three ideas into a post and ask the opinion of my invisible readers. Which do you think I should write on, first? Second? Last?

1) The idea that all men die of unnatural causes.

2) The importance of attending ONE church - not church-hopping.

3) How the chief end of man is to be accomplished.

TM

So Many Thoughts!

2010-05-10T21:02:00.005-04:00

I realized, with shame, that I have not posted anything new for almost a year! Actually... Benny pointed it out. That makes me even more ashamed :(.

Oh, well! It's time to make it up to my nonexistent readers! :).

SO much has happened. A whole year of school, for instance. Also, a lot of important decisions have come into place: Majors, future education, relationships, work, etc. It has been totally crazy.

My fourth and final semester at Sandburg has been both my easiest and my hardest. I have taken all classes that I truly love, and that made it easy; however, I did take 18 or 19 hours. That is a lot of English and Music! I took two independent studies, which was a very big part of the great amount of time I have not had :). Tim also got a new job, this past year, so his teaching instruction in the music department was replaced by James Hutchings, who is, quite frankly, amazing. I feel like I have progressed with him, developing my musicianship, more than with most other music teachers I have had - at least equal with all of them. I wish I could take more from him, but I don't see that happening :). I'm also sad to leave Mr. Burdick, who has been my steady anchor through both years of school. He told me that I took more of his classes than any student he had ever had. I was fortunate: I took six :). He spent the first year trying to convince me to change my major to English, which I did end up doing, to his great pleasure.

In my work life, I still work with Steven, one of my dearest loves and joys. I find myself more inspired by him every day. He reminds me to forget yesterday and do my best at the moment I am currently living :). I work with him again, this Summer, my fourth Summer with him. I am hoping to introduce him to several people, too, who have heard me speak of him.

In my spiritual life, I have recently have several epiphanies which cannot be spoken plainly, I do not think; however, God has been steadfast and patient with me. It has been a hard year, and I would not have made it without the shadow of His right hand.

In my personal life, I have made many new friends - more than I ever thought I would - and I think several of them are forever friends. I am thinking of a couple in particular: David and Benny. Hopefully they will be known better to my other friends and family in future. There are, of course, other friends to be known! Ian, Nathan Scott, Gracie, Er!ka, Cleopatra (Edward), Brandon, Nate, Lanae, Reed, Dan, Beth, Stephenie, and the list goes on! I love people :).

That is all I will write for now. I will try my hardest to keep up with this. If I forget, my nonexistent readers will, I'm sure, put a bug in my ear :).

Disrupted Plans - An Open Heart

2009-07-17T19:03:00.003-04:00

You know that feeling when you've been really looking forward to something, all day, and then it gets pulled out from under you? I've experienced that today, just when I really needed something to cheer me up. I cannot discuss this with anyone, because no one would really understand. I honestly feel close to tears, and I shouldn't. It's not like the thing I was looking forward to is no longer a possibility. In fact, it has only been put off, but the plans have been altered so that they will not be the family experience I wished for. I feel diminished, somehow, but there is nothing I can do. It is in these times that I find it necessary to consider others and focus on that which has made me who I am - The love of Christ.

Some of My Favorite Quotes

2009-07-05T00:02:00.003-04:00

This does not include the ones already posted on my blog :)

"Profanity is a Crutch for the Conversationally Crippled." - Unknown

"In reality there is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself...For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility." - Benjamin Franklin.

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. ~Benjamin Franklin

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~G.K. Chesterton

The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones. ~Somerset Maugham

It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness. ~Leo Tolstoy

I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him. ~Booker T. Washington

Silence is the true friend that never betrays. ~Confucius

Rachel

2009-07-04T22:19:00.002-04:00

Rachel - My best friend. I am sorry to say that I have not written about her before now. We have known each other for around 11 years. We were actually forced onto each other by our parents - a very fun experience, mind you - and became quick friends. It took five years before I called her my best friend, but she has been ever faithful and loving to me. She is more than I deserve. We get quite crazy when we're together, and we do things I would never do in front of anybody else. She has seen the best and the worst of me, and she stills hangs around. Our beliefs may differ, but our values are the same, which makes for some interesting conversations. I thank God for her every day, and couldn't imagine a better friend.

All People Are Stupid - Chapter One

2009-07-04T22:16:00.001-04:00

All People Are Stupid
A Guide to Helping People Think
by Sarah D. Miller

Chapter 1: How to Get A’s In Class
Success In High School, College, and Beyond

When taking classes, there is always this need for students to get an A in everything; However, there is also the misconception that there are special tricks to getting this coveted grade. This chapter is to help the reader come to the realization that an A that is hard to get is given only to the student who wants it. How have I come to this conclusion? Simply by knowing that getting an A requires work, and the work required seems far too much for some to handle. Through this chapter, I hope to make the task a little easier and clearer to those who have a difficult time. Also, to those who are no longer in school and think that there is no need for them to read this chapter, you are wrong! Much of the information in this chapter can be helpful to people who are not students, especially when it comes to learning about how the brain reacts to its surroundings.

There are 7 major steps to doing well in classes.
Attending
Listening
Knowing when to take notes
Asking Questions
Studying/Doing Homework
Follow Up
Taking Good Tests

The first step is to attend the class. This may seem like an obvious thing to say, but it is not uncommon for college students to simply skip a class for no real reason at all. I’ve watched students come in for a class, and if the teacher was not already there, they would leave. I often heard other students discuss skipping their next class just because they wanted to. This is a very bad habit to begin and very hard to break if started. If you ever feel the urge, immediately ban that idea from your mind. Skipping class means you could miss out on what could be a major class lecture and/or discussion. There may be an important assignment given, due the next class, which you will not be able to hand in, unless you ask about the class (which most students do not do). Even skipping a review class is unwise, because good teachers, although most of the time very well organized, will sometimes forget about important information you may need to know until they look over the test you are reviewing for. If this is ever the case and you miss a review class, you might fail based on the information you could not have possibly studied for. I have watched students fail classes as a direct result from this very problem. It is never a good idea to miss a class.

The second step is to listen to the teacher. This is one of the hardest parts, believe it or not. The newest generations are being raised on fast-paced sports, video games, movies, etc. As a result, anything that does not vary its method of output about every five minutes will soon become boring to its audience. This is bad for the teachers who are trying to teach wandering minds and eyes. The most interesting teacher I had was one who was constantly varying his methods. I never came close to falling asleep in his classes. One minute he would be writing on the board, then next he would have the overhead on, the next he would start a discussion, the next there was a pop quiz. However, another teacher of equal caliber I found extremely dull, because he never varied his teaching methods. I was almost always feeling lulled to sleep in his class. It was not that the class bored me. I was interested in it, but I could not easily keep my attention on the same method of teaching for almost hour and thirty minutes (which was how long my classes were, on average). Note: I said it was not easy, but neither was it impossible. When faced with a class that is too methodical and meticulous, it becomes important to keep your brain alert. There are hundreds of ways to do this, and every person is different. Everyone can do this in a different way. I knew someone who did word-searches to keep from being distracted. I knew someone else who color coded all her notes. When I was falling asleep, I retraced my notes. This kept me awake and alert. The key is to find out what can keep you alert, but also undistracted. Do not choose to do a crossword puzzle or something that would require you to think. Pick something that will be not be distracting to others and that you can do without thinking.

The third step is knowing when and how to take notes. There are only three things you should ever write down. Write down whatever your teacher writes on the board or has on the power-point notes, especially term definitions. Do NOT write down something if your teacher says it will not be important. If you do, later when you are studying, you will see the ‘unimportant’ as just as important as everything else. This will keep you from having everything else as solid as it could have been. If you want to write it down just because you think it is interesting, have a special place in your notebook or binder to put down these notes.

The second thing to write notes for is on whatever the teacher says, “This is important,” or something along those lines. If the teacher says it’s important, always write it down. Also write it down if the teacher repeats something several times. This is a teacher’s way of giving you time to write something down that is relevant to whatever you are studying. Pay close attention if you want to catch this. It is one of the more subtle ways a teacher can help you take notes.

The final things you would write down would be notes on the lecture itself. This means: a lecture that is given without the teacher writing on the board or providing power-point notes. This is the hardest way to take notes, but if you know how to take notes, it will be easier. Often a teacher will emphasize a point by pronouncing words very carefully and slightly louder than usual. Write these things down. Be sure to write down names, dates, and term definitions wherever they come up, unless you are told they are not important.

My final point is on how to actually take notes. The most important thing you can ever learn about notes is: Do not try to write down everything word for word, except for some definitions. This makes notes copious and hard to read when you are later studying for tests. You have to write so fast that your words are sloppy, and often to difficult to translate later. The key is to choose key words from the main point. If the teacher says, “It is important to remember this: In 1918, although the life expectancy was twelve years higher, the Spanish Influenza killed enough people of middle age for this to be lowered.” You can shorten this greatly by writing down only some key words: 1918 - Spanish Influenza -twelve year life expectancy drop (You could even shorten this further if you learn to use appropriate numbers, symbols, and abbreviations in place of a whole word: Span Flu ‘18 - 12 yr. exp. Drop). You don’t have to write down anything except that which will help you to remember the information given. I once had a teacher that only allowed three words per main point, but it is easier for me to remember from fragments of phrases, whereas I had a sibling who could remember a whole paragraph from just a few words. To each his own, but shorten your notes to as few phrases or words as possible. This will save you a lot of time in studying later.

The fourth step is asking questions. This can be very difficult for some, but with the new world of technology, teachers now have e-mail! This means that you can never make excuses about not knowing material or being sure about your facts! Even if you don’t have your teachers personal e-mail, if you are in college, there are often e-mails for instructors on the college website; However, if it is possible, you should always ask the teacher your questions in person. E-mail should be a last resort. I often e-mailed my instructors to set up a time when we could meet, and I could ask questions. What sort of questions should you ask? Ask about anything you aren’t clear on, especially if you are confused about a difference between two terms or ideas. Also make sure you are completely clear about what your assignments are and what will be on your test. Asking questions about your grades is also a good idea, especially if you received a grade that was lower than your expectations. This is not to say you should challenge the grade. The point is to learn from your mistakes and try to do better on your next test and/or assignment. You teacher will be pleased with your coming and requesting advice on how to do better. A student who asks questions is greatly valued by a good teacher.

The fifth step is to study and apply yourself to your homework. Study? Homework?! Yes! It is recommended that you apply at least two hours of study a week for every class credit you take. The harder the class, the more study required. During your study time, finish the homework first, and in the order it is due. If you have three assignments, a paper Tuesday, a study guide on Friday, and a page of work due the next week, the logical thing to finish first would be the paper. It doesn’t matter which assignment is harder. Do what comes first. After you are done with the assignments immediately due then you can move on to other assignments. When simply studying for a subject, to not overwork yourself. If you need to study Psychology for an hour, but after 20 minutes you feel brain-dead, take a break and work on something else. Do your best to eliminate all distractions. Distractions are not the same for everybody. Some people study better with music playing while others would be banging their heads against the wall if music was playing in the next room. It is also important to remain alert while you are studying. This means you probably shouldn’t study on your bed, especially if you’re tired. When I study, I have music playing and lots of water available. The music keeps my mind from wandering, and drinking the water keeps me from falling asleep. Find things like this to keep you awake, but try not to make snacking one of these things. Snacking while doing homework in college can cause unwanted weight gain.

The sixth step in acquiring A’s is following up on your classes. This is a step that is skipped by most students, but it is also a very rewarding step. There are two parts of it. The first is to do research on your class subject. For instance, if you are doing critical reading, a good way to follow up on this would be to research the author, the time period, and the story itself (Critical essays, similar stories, discussion of plot, symbols, theme, etc.). I did this for all of my interactive classes, and it helped a great deal. It is extra work, and it is certainly not required, but you will always do better, especially critically, if you have researched the topic of discussion. Like I said, it is extra work, but the outcome is tremendous, and your teachers will notice the extra effort.

The second way to follow up on classes is to either have a study group with either classmates and/or have someone with whom you can discuss what you are learning in class. This is extremely important. Studies have shown that people who discuss what they are learning in class are able to conserve what they learn at a much higher percentage than those who just take notes, especially if they discuss it in a teaching fashion. You have to know your information extremely well to teach it, so teaching it will require you to learn and retain the information you need to remember.

Following up on your classes and studies requires extra work than is actually required, but if the class is important to you, you should be willing to do whatever you can to make the class worth your time.

The final step to getting A’s in class is doing well in tests. This might seem like a no brainer, but even if you apply the other six steps, you can still get a bad grade or even fail your class. Yes, this might seem silly. If you’ve spent hours and hours studying, surely the grade is absolute, but that is a very foolish assumption. In preparation for a test, studying is only one part. There are six things, aside from studying, that you need to watch when preparing for your tests.

Alcoholic and drug intake
Sleep
Eating
Music/TV
Time spent just before
God

Watching your alcoholic and drug intake is very important. Note: Caffeine and prescription medications count. Anything that can make you tired, jittery, or confused, is something that you should avoid like the black plague before a test - At least an entire days abstinence. If you walk in for a test drunk or so heavily medicated you can barely keep your eyes open, hours of study go to waste.

Sleep is also very important. Getting enough sleep is critical. You should have at least two nights good sleep before a test, preferably three. Just a good night’s sleep before the day of the test is not enough. If you are tired, it is just as bad as coming in sick. Sleep keeps your brain energized. If your brain is not energized, you can not hope to do as well as you could.

Eating the necessary meals before a tests is also extremely important, especially breakfast. Just as sleep helps the brain prep, food helps the mind sharpen and wake up faster. Also, it is very distracting to yourself and others if your stomach is growling because you are starving. Hunger is a distraction, and if it can be avoided, it should be.

Music and TV are some of the less obvious but most important things to watch when prepping for a test. The most obvious, perhaps, is to make sure you’re not staying up late, watching TV (For those who don’t realize the obvious - TV includes DVD’s, TV programs, and any sort of video game). Also, TV right before a test can be very distracting. This is a bad idea. Avoid staying up late, and avoid direct contact the day of the test.

Music is least obvious because most people aren’t aware of the affects of music on how your brain and body work. Music like Hip Hop, Rock and Roll, and Rap, for example, can have a negative effect. This is because most music of these genres use what is often referred to as staggered rhythm. This means that if the music has four beats (Like 4/4), the downbeat is not played on one and three like it should be - It is played on two and four. If the music has three beats (3/4 for example), the downbeat should be played on one, but in these genres it is often played on beat two or three. The original downbeats of music were designed to be on one and three because they then follow the natural rhythms of the body. Your heartbeat and pulse beat naturally on one and three. When you listen to music that fights this natural rhythm, your body becomes stressed. You may not feel it, but it is there. Another downside is that the music is often very repetitive, and repetitive music is bad for your brain. When it is repetitive, your mind stops computing, because there is no change. The less your mind computes, the more neglected it becomes. The more neglected it becomes, the less able you will be to process thought and information. Obviously, with these downsides, you do not want to be listening to Rap right before a test. This is not to say that these genres should be forever abandoned from your library. It should only show you that a great variety is necessary.

What should you listen to? Studies have shown that students listening to Mozart for ten to twenty minutes, just before a test, resulted in an average of over 50% greater testing results, in each student who participated. Why is this? One of the trademarks of Mozart’s music is its great complexity and rhythmic drive. In fact, most Classical music has been shown to help increase IQ, aide the ability to concentrate, and to help the listener relax. I strongly recommend listening to Classical music just before a test. So, instead of pulling out musicians like Muse, Nickleback, or Snoop Dogg, pull out ones such as Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi, or my personal favorite, Rachmaninov. This might upset some who would never be caught dead listening to Classical music, of all things, but there is just as much variety in the world of Classical music as there is in anything else. If you look, I have no doubt in my mind that you will find a type that suits you. Quite frankly, I have yet to meet someone who does not like at least one Classical composer.

It is also important to watch the time you spend within an hour or two of your test. Do not spend this time joking with friends, on your computer, or just messing around. Spend this time preparing and focusing on the tests. You can also spend this time invigorating your mind with the other things in this list I gave. Listen to Mozart, eat a filling snack, and make sure your mind is awake and concentrated on what is coming up. This is not the time to cram but simply to focus on the task ahead.

The very last, and I believe most important thing to watch, is that you have prayed and done your devotions for the day. This might seem silly to some. There have not been studies to show that this greatly increases your grade average, but I know from experience that I feel at greater ease when taking my tests if I feel comfortable in my relationship with God. God gives His children a peace that is comforting at any time, and I welcome it when I am testing! I do not get an A on every test because of this, but I do get them because of God. It is because of Him that I have what intelligence I have, and I think it is important to thank Him for it (And maybe to even remind Him that He wants me to get an A!). I believe He even helps His children remember what they have learned, at times, and have even heard accounts of people who said they only passed tests because of God. Whether or not you choose to believe this practice, I believe it has honestly helped me, or I would not have included it.

Now you know how to take good tests! There is no magic spell or tips for last minute cramming. Getting A’s does not even require intelligence. All it requires is work, work, more work, and a lot of determination to do your absolute best, and it is always worth it.

2009-01-10T01:57:00.005-05:00

It is sad to see that I have horribly neglected my blog. I suppose it is because I realize that few people read it, if any, so I rarely write. However, it is a good way to relieve heavy thought and to ponder in writing.

I'm going to post a poem that I recently rediscovered in one of my lost notebooks. Enjoy!

When a heart is pained, where does it turn?
How invariably to the wrong place!

There are things which the heart must forget.

Turn not to happiness, lest your broken heart be crushed.
Let the heart be content with it's lot.

Be not stubborn and stuck in your ways, for the firm cannot be moved.
The heart will forget pain, so, farewell to Love!
One cannot exist alone, for they are symbiotic.

Love is pain, and let it be so!
For pain strengthens the best love.

The Love that is strengthened perseveres. Ah! To the very end!
For the scars of Life are a shield.

Let the arrows fly! Then the enemy draw it's sword!
For no one can hurt me! My heart has loved and known pain.

Let it always be so, now and forever.

This poem was written at a time when I realized that God seems to find the perfect way to mold me through whatever I go through. I realized that I had let pain take me and tried to turn to happiness, but it didn't work. When I let God use my pain to strengthen, and when I allowed myself to love again, I felt whole and invincible. In many ways, God has used pain to mold me into the person I am. I feel like Stonewall Jackson when it comes to this. When he was dying, he was asked if he would take the chance to go back in time - To change the past. He said he would not, because he believed that God's will was more important than his own. What a powerful concept! And one that I keep in my own heart.

God bless and keep you.
TM

Enjoying Tchaikovsky

2008-09-24T01:09:00.003-04:00

I have been listening to a lot of music recently... Big surprise, huh?! :) Some of you know that I love to listen to the same song played by many different artists... Preferably three at the very least. I'd much rather have ten or more options. Anyway, my song recently has been Tchaikovsky's 1st Piano Concerto. It is a beautifully intricate piece. I have listened to many different artists playing it, including Martha Argerich, Peter Toperczer, Ayako Uehara, Vladimir Ashkenazy, Cecile Licad, Van Cliburn (The Chopin competition recording and the newer recordings), Monty Python :), Dimitris Sgouros, Evgeny Kissin, and some others. It's amazing to me how differently a song can be portrayed. I just wanted to share a little bit of my Tchaikovsky enjoyment with you... So, enjoy!!!

Here is Martha playing the famous octaves:

In order, Vladimir Horowitz (1943)
Van Cliburn (1962)
Vladimir Ashkenazy (1962)
Arthur Rubinstein
Arturo Beneditti Michelangeli
Sviatoslav Richter
Emil Gilels (1979)
Martha Argerich (1980)
Mikhail Pletnev
Dimitris Sgouros (1984)
Alexei Sultanov (1989)
Evgeny Kissin (1988)
Sergio Tiempo
Dong-Heyk Lim (2003)
Boris Berezovsky (2004)
Lang Lang (2004)

(When you see Martha's face, it's Emil playing, and visa versa)

Details!

2008-09-18T19:14:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I was asked for more details about college. Okay!!! First, I'll give you a list of classes I'm taking.
Composition 1 (Mr. Burdick)
Public Speaking (Mr. Burdick)
Algebra 1 (Mr. Paris)
Voice Lessons (Tim Pahel)
CSC Choir (Tim Pahel)
CSC Chamber Choir (Tim Pahel)
Music Theory 1 (Tim Pahel)
Ear Training and Sight Reading (Tim Pahel)
Organ Lessons (Mary Harlan)
Piano Lessons (Kurt Killam)

Fun, huh! You probably noticed right away that I don't have many teachers for all those classes. The piano lessons aren't actually credited classes, but I count them anyway :) So, four teachers, excluding piano. I have Mr. Paris for one, Mr, Burdick for two, Tim Pahel for five, and Mary Harlan for one. Algebra is definitely not my strongest subject, so don't have much to say about that.
Speech and Comp. are going pretty well. I get along well with Mr. Burdick; partly because he reminds me of myself. (Don't get scared, people!) His assignments are fun and challenging, and you all know that I enjoy a challenge. The biggest mistake he made was assigning me a journal to write. Just by seeing this blog you would find it apparent that I write a whole lot more than I talk. He is reading some long journal entries :)
All the lessons with Tim are going pretty well. I've known him since I was ten, so I already knew what to expect from him. In Voice he is teaching me selections from Handel's Messiah. (The Soprano solos, for those of you who aren't familiar with that) Ear and Sight stuff is going pretty well. Theory wasn't so great at first, but I got 100% on the last quiz. Study definitely helps :)
Organ lessons are going a bit slow. I still have to get organ shoes (Yes, they exist), and I don't have an organ to practice on yet. But Mary Harlan in very nice, and she gives me the impression of a good teacher.
Piano is exciting, as always. Kurt is always supportive, and we spend most of the lesson talking, which is just fine with me. He calms my nerves. It's almost freaky how well he reads me. I'm usually the one doing that :) I'm eager to learn something challenging, but we've been on break for several months, so it will take a while to get back into the swing of things.
I really wish I could take some history, but hopefully there will be time for that later. God has really blessed me. Hope that's enough detail ya'll!
Love,
Branded by Christ's Seal

Zephaniah 3:17
"The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”

2008-09-17T00:03:00.005-04:00

It has been so long! College has been great, and a wonderful opportunity to observe the world. I have always been very aware of my surroundings; especially people; and have found more, and yet less, than I expected.

But enough of that! It is time for me to write something to make you think! Hmm....
Here is a new poem I have written. I would love to hear thoughts on it. I rarely write this sort of poetry, so it's more of an experiment than anything else. Enjoy!

High above me sits the pale Moon,
Her beauty unwavering; her song a ray of bliss.
Unattainable is her purity to those who would use it for ill.

Her Gift is highly treasured. She guards it with her eyes.
It cannot be captured by fear.
Those who would attain it are shocked by unswerving zealousness.

I ask her why her light is hidden.
The white lady does not answer.
Instead, she draws a picture, writ clearly in the stars.

Then I see the answer! My heart fills with hope.
There is a Moon for every sky, it's light for only one.
And so I wait for my Moon.

I would love to hear what you think this is about! I'll give you one hint, and a sub hint :) : It is the sky speaking, and it is a man speaking.

In The Quiet of the Night

2008-08-25T00:28:00.004-04:00

Sitting here in my room, listening to a Scottish lullaby, I am considering the reminiscence of another post I made, commenting on the affect a kind gesture can have on a person. I consider this yet again, as I consider another spur of the moment gesture I made. God continues to show me how to bless people through random acts of kindness. I've also had a great hymn going through my head all week, that might be unfamiliar to many, Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah. Perhaps this was my theme this week.

As I am preparing for my first week of college I consider this weeks theme. I will need God's hand on me as I enter "hostile" territory. Surprisingly I am not that nervous about this upcoming adventure. Actually, I am excited. It reminds me of the quote I used for my graduation letters. "The world is round, and that which seems like the end may also be the beginning." Powerful thought, and an interesting observation.

I have prayed a lot about this new beginning that is upcoming, and have decided on a theme. My verse will be Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you in gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah is my favorite minor prophet. I love the way he puts things. So clear, and yet with very subtle and mind blowing truths. This verse especially touches me, because of the thought that God rejoices over me with singing. It is humbling and lifting, and makes me want to serve God all the more. What blessing He is to me.

Guide me, O thou great Jehovah, pilgrim through this barren land.

I am weak, but thou art mighty; hold me with thy powerful hand.

Bread of heaven, bread of heaven, feed me till I want no more;

feed me till I want no more.

Open now the crystal fountain, whence the healing stream doth flow;

Let the fire and cloudy pillar lead me all my journey through.

Strong deliverer, strong deliverer, be thou still my strength and shield;

Be thou still my strength and shield.

When I tread the verge of Jordan, bid my anxious fears subside;

Death of death and hell's destruction, land me safe on Canaan's side.

Songs of praises, songs of praises, I will ever give to thee;

I will ever give to thee.

And my song for this week

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;

Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;

Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:

Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Be A Hero

2008-08-22T00:17:00.005-04:00

Today I got back from work exhausted! I was so tired I felt dead on my feet. Unfortunately, my church had a work day planned. I was ready to go, but no one showed up. Yes! I thought. I can relax! But it was not meant to be. I asked my mother, like I believe every dutiful child should, if she needed anything done, since she decided to clean the church anyway.
"You could clean the kitchen." She said it with a smile, that showed she was teasing. But I could see in her eyes that she was half serious, and really dreading when she would have to do it herself, when I was at work the next day. We had just torn our house up so that the carpet could be stretched, and the kitchen hadn't been cleaned for days. Needless to say, it looked like a tycoon had just celebrated it's birthday in there! Groaning to myself I decided that I would surprise her and clean it up.
For two hours I scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom, washed the dishes, put things away, rearranged... It was crazy. She wasn't upstairs at all until I was almost finished, just starting to mop the floor.
When I was finally done, I sat with a satisfied, "Done!" Mom looked at me with relief.
"You're my hero."

If going out of my way just a little bit, despite my aversion to the task, I made someone's life so much easier, I can only imagine the impact it would have if everyone did. I was my Mom's hero today, and I want to be someone elses tomorrow. Go be a hero! Make someone's load lighter. Pass on a smile!

David Phelps' Funny Side :)

2008-08-18T00:40:00.004-04:00

This is first shows Mark Lowry's very "original" humor :) You can tell that David and Guy had no idea what was going on because of the surprised looks on their faces and the fact that they couldn't control their laughter :)

Apparently the rumor is spreading that Mark Lowry rubbed of on David Phelps when they were in the GVB together. Enjoy!

My Favorite Contemporary Singer

2008-08-18T00:15:00.002-04:00

Admittedly, he's the only one I listen to :) David Phelps, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not sure what to say about this great man of faith, except that you can see his faith in his singing, and you can hear it in his CD's. Enjoy!

My Bad Poetry :)

2008-08-14T19:51:00.003-04:00

Ah, the subtle influence of a touch, a look, a word.

Even though I consider my own poetry nonsensical I'm going to post some lines from one of them. I just like the thought of this one...

Look up into the heavens.
Hear the whispers of the angels.
"Holy is the Lord God Almighty!"

Rolling, tumbling over one another
The clouds go their separate ways.
See! See! Make way for the King!

Only the pure are left.
All unrighteousness fades away.
But even the clean tremble: IN PRESENCE OF THE ALMIGHTY!

Just Do It!

2008-08-10T01:40:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow I celebrate my 19th birthday. It's hard to believe that I have lived so long! If not for the love of Christ I would not be here today, nor do I think I would want to be.

I watched, for the first time, Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ." I didn't watch it when it first came out because I felt unready for it. I can't explain this, but it is simply truth. But for several weeks I have yearned to watch it. I wanted to remember. Sometimes I think the story of Jesus' sacrifice becomes simply that; a story. I never want Christ's sacrifice to become unimportant to me. You might say I never want to be a fake Christian. So many Christian's seem afraid to realize the great reality of the crucifixion. When I was not even ten years old my church, as a group, delved into the crucifixion itself, to see how it worked. I was fascinated by what I learned. I found it more horrific than I had even imagined.

A common mistake in films and portrayal of the crucifixion show the nails through the hands of Jesus, when in reality the nail would have had little purpose there. They were actually driven in directly below the wrist, so that the bones of the arm would hold the nail into place. In the hand, the nail would have slit through the skin and in between the fingers, eventually releasing a badly misshapen hand.

The position of the body, with the arms held out and the feet nailed to a block, allows the person hanging to breath in, but not to exhale. If you want to breath out you have to push up with your feet (Which have nails in them! I can only imagine the pain of this simple task). Then you can exhale. But just try to imagine the pain. Your bones have probably come disjointed because of the loose hanging, and your muscles clench and tighten as you struggle for breath. Your body is pressed against unfinished wood that splinters into your already ravaged back. As you weaken you can no longer push yourself up for breath, and you eventually die of suffocation. If you, however, live too long for your torturers taste, your legs can be broken, to shorten the time spent in dying.

In Jesus' case, he died before the soldiers started breaking legs, to fulfill the prophesies of the Old Testament. But just to make sure he was dead the soldiers, "Pierced His side." Or His heart. Blood and water gushed out. This shows that He did not die of suffocation, but of heart failure, due to shock and constriction of the heart because of fluid in the pericardium (The sack that contains the heart and beginnings of major blood vessels). What a terrible way to die! And yet, our Savior did that.

I do not understand how someone could hear this story and not be touched! And I did not even mention his torture beforehand! The horrible whipping that tore his flesh until he was unrecognizable! (Isaiah 52:14 and Isaiah 53) The mocking and beating of the soldiers! The humiliation of his mock robing and crowning, and the eventual carrying of the cross for over 600 yards, while still bleeding and bruised.

Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made;
I see the stars. I hear the rolling thunder;
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art. How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art. How great Thou art!

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in.
That on the cross, my burdens gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sins!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art. How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art. How great Thou art!

This story fills me with love for my Savior. I challenge you to spread it! Tell people that nothing they have suffered even compares to what Jesus did for them; out of Love! We are so blessed!

Heavenly Father, I Magnify Thee.
Heavenly Father, I Magnify Thee.
I love Thee, adore Thee,
I bow down before Thee.
Heavenly Father, I Magnify Thee.

25 Most Influential Men - Part 2

2008-07-28T07:46:00.004-04:00

This post will have to be relatively short, because I have to go to work shortly... Let's start where I left off.

Derek Miller ~ This is my second of five older brothers. Quite naturally he has had a great influence on me, as a brother in blood and as a brother in Christ. He was always partial to me, and we are very close.

Jason Miller ~ This is the oldest of my five brothers. His influence has been on many levels, including the way I take a test! He is probably the one I've had the least contact with, but still a lot compared to some relationships.

Matthew Miller ~ This is the youngest of my five older brothers. When I was little he was the one brother I wanted to be friends with, and I am still like that in many ways. His influence has been astoundingly great in ways I can't explain. I was always partial to him, despite our many differences, probably because of our closeness in age.

Nathan Miller ~ This is the third of my five brothers. We are alike in many subtle ways that most wouldn't notice. His influence has been more on that level than anything. He was gone most of my teenage years, in the military, so I haven't had as much contact with him as I would like. But his influence is still marked in my mind.

Rodney Miller ~ This is my father. His influence has been one of the greatest and most pronounced. He has always been a loving and gentle father. Sometimes a little annoying :) But always my Daddy.

Stephen Miller ~ This is my fourth brother of five. He is probably the brother that's personality is closest to mine. This being so, his influence was probably more so than some of the other brothers. We have always been pretty close.

Allen Patterson ~ This man I have known personally much of my life. I mostly saw him as the man who looked a lot like one of my brothers before I actually got to know him. His influence has also been of a more subtle kind that many fail to notice.

Paul the Apostle ~ This man in dead, and I do not know him personally. He was also known as Saul when he persecuted Christians. His influence has been that of his walk and ministry.

Donnie Plemons ~ This man I have known, all my life, as Brother Plemons. His influence has been through his Christian walk and ministry. He shows God's love in the most loving and hardworking ways. God has greatly blessed me through him.

Howard Russell ~ This man I have known for at least eight years, but have had personal contact with for six years, because of his music ministry. His funny yet insightful way of using his music ministry has been a great influence on the way I minister.

William Sillings ~ This man I have known of most of my life, but have been in personal contact with for four or more years. His influence has been in his Christian walk, his ministry, and the conversations we've had together. His wise insight has been a great help and witness to me.

Aaron Ward ~ This man is an adoptive brother. I have probably known him for four or five years, and his influence has been of a brotherly kind.

Richard Wurmbrand ~ This man I have never met, even though he died during my lifetime (2001). His influence was in his Christian walk and him ministry through Voice of the Martyrs, a ministry that I personally support as much as possible.

Well, there you go. One man that isn't on the list, but would have been the 26th is Amos Hann. A man who shows his faith in the most interesting ways. :) Those of you that know him understand best.

25 Most Influential Men

2008-07-28T00:55:00.004-04:00

I was thinking that people might wonder about the list I did about the 25 most influential men in my life... So I'll start from the top; even though It may take several posts to finish.

First though, I will note that not all of the people in my list are living, nor do I know them all personally. Most I do know personally, and I believe that only one is dead. The list was heavily considered... So, here goes!

Andy Andrews ~ This man I do not know personally. He is actually a writer of historical fiction. I chose him for my list because of one of his books that greatly influenced my views on life. The book is in my top 100 books list "The Lost Choice." It talks much about how every decision that someone makes affects the course of not only their own life, but of others lives.

Frank Baldwin ~ This man I do know personally, and have known of him all my life. He was known to me as a great preacher, and his influence on me has been mostly because of His Christian walk. I have not seen him in many years, but my memories of him are special.

Randall Clark ~ This man is my godfather. I have known him for almost ten years (About half of my life). He was not a Christian when I first met him, but has been for most of the years I've known him. His great wisdom and quiet talks with me have greatly influenced me. He and I are alike in many ways, and he has taught me so much.

Douglas Crossman ~ This man I have known all my life, but do not see often. He is Welsh, and travels a lot because of his ministry (As well as his wife's ministry). He is the kind of person you always remember because of his funny personality. His influence on me has been most noted in his Christian walk and ministry.

Mark Horton ~ This man I know personally and have known him for at least six years. He gave me my most touching compliment, and his encouragement of my ministry has greatly influenced the way that I minister.

Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson ~ This man is not living, nor do I know him personally. His life has greatly influenced the way I live. He once said "Captain, my religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me. That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave"

Jesus the Christ ~ This Man, who is also God, I have known of all my life, but have truly known for eight or nine years. His influence is the greatest of any man, and it is given through His life, ministry, and others of His choosing. To try to explain would be pointless, because there are no words beautiful or wise enough.

Richard Kenny ~ This man I know personally, and have known all my life. His influence on me was noted during a time of personal suffering, when he gave me comfort. He knew my pain when others didn't, and because of his love I am influenced.

Kurt Killam ~ This man I have known for four or five years, even though I have had other brief contact with him, several times, over nine years. His influence was one of a peculiar kind... He was one of few who would talk with me about anything, and seemed to read my feelings. He gave me much comfort and laughter when I felt sad.

Steven Knaack ~ This "man" is actually a boy, and will always be a boy. He has Down Syndrome, and I care for him during the summer. He has given me much laughter and love in his influence. He is a great blessing to me.

Gerald Mershimer ~ This man I have known personally for four or more years. Even though I haven't been in much personal contact, his ministry and Christian walk have greatly affected my personal walk. His caring ways made me feel appreciated and wanted when I needed that badly.

Loy Mershimer ~ This man I have known personally for six or more years. I have corresponded with him often in those years, and his quiet ways of showing God's love in his ministry greatly influenced my own Walk.

That's all I have time for now. God bless!

~Branded with God's seal.

Do It With A Prayer

2008-07-27T00:00:00.003-04:00

I just did another concert today... For those who don't know, I sing. It is a gift; not something I worked to get or bought from someone. Saying this I also say, most humbly, I sing pretty well. I boast of nothing I do not have in Christ, and this is true to the greatest extent.
I have to admit that I was not always humble about it. God had to show me that it was a gift, not something I won, in a way that humbled me greatly. I won't give any details, but suffice it to say I was greatly embarrassed at my big-headedness. God has shown me much since then, and though I can't say I showcase very well, He has shown Himself through me in the most amazing ways.

Something I've never told anyone about my singing is that I always pray and give my song to God before I sing. I do it several times, actually, depending on the amount of preparation I have. I just let God sing through me. I know this may sound very superficial and silly, but I've never felt like it was me singing after I started praying about it beforehand. Before I would struggle to show off, but now I leave it completely up to God what my performance will sound like. If I sound terrible, I can say it's His fault :)
After I started praying beforehand I noticed a difference in my singing that was probably unnoticed by others. If I forget to pray, it is noticed by others, whether they say so or not.

Tonight I prayed so hard. My music was out of place for the concert, because my style was very different... But I gave it to God, and He gave me His Spirit, just like I knew He would. The result? I believe Mom said, "They were transfixed as soon as you started."

All the glory and the honor belongs to my Father.

When Your Choice Affects the World

2008-07-20T13:47:00.006-04:00

I have recently been observing and thinking about the profound difference it makes in the life of a person when they except Christ. Most of my siblings have made this choice, which is a great blessing, and in one, particularly, I have noticed a great change.

One was my second brother. I was always attached to him because he was partial to me, but I didn't like how he would get upset over silly things; Like me leaving a towel on the bathroom floor, or taking my shoes off and not putting them away. Once I remember doing just that, and he got so mad at me. "Why can't you put your own stuff away? Do you think other people want to pick up after you?!"
Then one summer I noticed a drastic change in him. He was less likely to get angry with me for silly things, and when things turned out bad he took it with grace. I especially noticed it when I went with him to a house he was building. He dropped one of those guns that can be used to fill up cracks, with a white sort of glue in it. The glue sprayed all over the room, and I expected him to blow. I waited for it, and it never happened. Instead, he laughed! Not because he thought it was funny, but because he was disgusted. I knew then that my brother had changed. He reacted to things differently, and now I never feel nervous that I'll do something wrong when I'm around him.

If I was affected this much by one persons choice, how many others did my brothers choice affect? And if his choice makes such a difference in the lives of others, how many more are affected by others that have changed. It makes me wonder why there aren't more Christian's, if this is so....
There is something profound! This tells me that Christian's are messing up! If people can't tell the difference between a Christian and a non Christian they will never know what a Christian is. If they never know what a Christian is they can never make that choice. God says that we know a Christian by their fruit. In other-words, I'm not a Christian unless people can tell that I am different than the average Joe. So what does that tell you?

Dancing In The Rain

2008-07-19T00:20:00.007-04:00

Today my Grandma, who died last year, was on my mind. Particularly memories of the day before she died. There was a thunderstorm outside, and my sisters and I were running around. We were changing into dry clothes when Mom told us to start packing.
I remember how hard it was not to cry, trying to be strong for my sisters and Mother. The night she died I managed to hide my tears, and then didn't cry until after the funeral. My other Grandma hugged me, and I remember thinking, "I'll never hug Grandma Halligan like this again." That was when I broke.

It has always amazed me how people so often hide their tears. It seems a very unhealthy practice, and no matter how hard I try to let myself cry my mind won't allow it. I am the kind of person that cries easily, but prefer not to show it. My disposition is naturally cheerful, so I simply let that show more predominantly. I don't exactly hide my emotions; I just don't let them effect my mood.
The last time I cried was just this morning. I had just finished singing a song for camp, and I was so moved by the Holy Spirit I had to walk to the back of the chapel and let it out. Tears flowed, and I couldn't help it. Sister Mershimer saw me standing there, trying to compose myself to no avail, and just took me in her arms. How blessed I felt!
I'm not so sure there won't be tears in Heaven, because I will be weeping for joy. How can I not weep when I am so blessed?

Special Abilities Children

2008-07-04T17:06:00.006-04:00

There are many terms used for people/children who are mentally unbalanced... Strait retarded, which is considered unkind; Special Needs, which could be seen as insensitive; Special, which I see as something someone says when they really think the person in question really isn't that special... Slow... "Not all there"... It seems endless. I prefer to call them Special Abilities children. I'm not saying that all of them are prodigies; but they have a way of communicating that I find different from anyone else. There is an innocence in it; a love; a thirst to prove themselves; a forcefulness that others, who don't have experience with them, might find frightening.

The boy I care for is a very "in your face" child. Despite his awkwardness he has a sense of fluency in the way he moves. And when he gets in my face, just to annoy me, I can feel the aura of affection and love in everything he does to drive me crazy. This ability is amazing to me. The pure genuine way he communicates is part of what I love about him. Sometimes I wish everyone I knew was so straightforward!

Words of Wisdom...

2008-07-04T14:56:00.006-04:00

A famous apologist once wrote, "If you treat something like an animal long enough it will eventually become one." I use this theory when doing child care. This may seem odd to some, but I've observed that children learn what you expect of them, and then do exactly that and often nothing more. If you don't expect a child to respect and obey you, the child will often do just what you expect.

I take care of a Down boy, and he is very special to me... I do my best to treat him like I would any other child. I expect him to behave, help me with jobs around the house, to be kind, etc. He knows this, and as a result I have gotten a lot of joy in the job. We have made some advances too! He will eat anything I put in front of him, which is something he won't do for anybody else, including his parents. He tests me sometimes, to see if he can get away with disobedience, but being firm is something that I am very serious about.

What you expect of people says something about you... It's an interesting thought.

Assumptions and Psychology

2008-06-30T21:36:00.004-04:00

I recently talked to a friend about Psychology, and she claimed that Psychology is a lot of trash... I tend to not agree with this assumption. This is something I will have to study in great depth to be an Occupational Therapist, and I think it's wrong to roll everyone in a profession into one group. That's like saying that every doctor is brilliant, or every truck driver is bad news (that is not to say that every doctor is stupid or every truck driver is kind). There might be some groups of people that are all the same, but often there are different sides to each group. For example, there are three types of Muslim's. There are the average Muslim's (The majority of them) who claim to be Muslim's, but don't actually follow the teachings of Mohammed. (Jihad). Then there are the Traditional Muslim's, who want to follow Mohammad, but are either unable or afraid to. The last group are the Fundamentalist Muslim's, who actually follow the Jihad teachings. (If you know anything about the teachings of Muslim's, and the way that they decide which laws to follow, you will realize that those who are Jihad Muslim's are actually the real Muslim's)

In many ways, everyone is a Psychologist. Basically you are like a Profiler. You make assumptions of people based on what you observe about them... You might see someone wearing clothes with paint and stains on them and assume that the person is a house painter. Maybe you see someone shopping, and observe that in their shopping cart they have diapers and baby powder, so you assume they have a baby at home. People make assumptions based on so little all the time... Isn't that akin to Psychology? I think so... Just a thought.

J. S. Bach

2008-04-23T09:43:00.003-04:00

Bach was an amazing guy! I've been doing a lot of research on Classical composers, and I found his life one of the most interesting.
He had a temper, like most composers. Once, he called a fellow musician "Kippelfagottist," and, "Nanny-goat Bassoonist!" The man that Bach was speaking to picked up a stick, Bach drew his sword, and they would have dueled if Bach’s friends had not prevented it!
But he was a devoted family man. He had 20 children! He was unlike composers in the fact that he prefered to compose in the middle of daily life, and not in solitude. He wrote his music in the kitchen of his home, while his wife was cooking, and his children running through. His children were allowed to bother him at any time, and he didn't scold them for it. He also enjoyed transcribing Vivaldi's compositions, which made Vivaldi famous.
He was also a godly man. His son, C. P. E. Bach, was said that the family, "Were in the habit of beginning everything with religion." Bach even wrote a godly poem about his tobacco smoking!

"On land, on sea, and home, abroad,
I smoke my pipe and worship God."

Bach loved listening to music so much that he traveled 200 miles, on foot, only to attend a worship service for Advent. He went because he knew that the renowned organist, Dietrich Buxtehude, would be playing. Bach himself sang, played the organ, and violin, and numerous other instruments.

Mastiff's

2008-04-05T16:03:00.003-04:00

I saw an add the other day that said English Mastiff's are smart and loving. The person who wrote it must have never met a Mastiff, or has never had experience with the smarter breeds. The loving part is true. My families mastiff is probably the most affectionate dog my family has ever had. But smart? No way. Lady chases her shadow on the wall, snorfs her food... She has the most distinct facial expressions I've ever seen on a dog. Whoever wrote the article must not have looked at the statistics either. The three smartest dogs are Collies, Poodles, and German Shepherds. English Mastiffs are number 73 on the smart list. My family jumped 70 dogs going from one dog to the next. (The dog before this one was a Shepherd.) But her affection makes up for her stupidity. She was worth the buy.

BTW! The article forgot to mention that big dogs are not easy to have... Especially if they weigh over 100 pounds, like mine.